Image Of Jerry Falwell Appears On Bathroom Wall

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Image Of Jerry Falwell Appears On Bathroom Wall

June 23, 2007



NEW YORK (CAP) - The tired building with its chipped-brick facade is about as off-Off Broadway as you can get, but the tassels don't swing with any less energy, the sequins aren't secured with any less glue. It is Demillo's Theater, longtime home to the Shanghai She-Male Review, a staple in this neighborhood where stripped cars and crack house tenements are the norm. In its long history, it has bore witness to many a strange oddity, but the Jerry Falwell pee stain may just trump them all.

"We try to keep the place clean for the girls, but it ain't easy, ya know?" says theater manager Earl Ramirez. "They're rushing to get on stage, ain't watching where they're aiming. I even got some of them urine cakes you shoot at, in the shape of an ass, you know? Nothing helps. Anyhow, about two weeks ago Bob the janitor guy comes up to me saying that he can't get this thing off the wall, it's like a pee stain or something. He scrubs it off, next day it's back. I says to him, Bob, I warned you about the drinking, but sure enough, there it was. And it was a fucking face, swear to God."

"It's Falwell, no question," chimes in Review dancer Jasmine. "I helped organize a protest once, when he was speaking somewhere uptown. I'd recognize that fat, holier-than-y'all face anywhere. It's kind of creepy really, but it kind of draws you in as well." Gay burlesque dancers aren't the only ones drawn to the spectacle. About a week after it first appeared on the bathroom wall, the Jerry Falwell pee stain had its first couple of nervous pilgrims knocking on the Demillo's door, asking to see it. That trickle has since turned into a flood, and Earl Ramirez has had to hire additional help to she-man the doors and conduct tours.

"We're turning a profit for the first time in years," Ramirez says. "The evangelicals are great. They come in, see the pee stain, catch a show, mingle backstage with the cast afterwards. Everyone's happy."

Memphis housewife and devout Southern Baptist member Maggie Shephard agrees. "The guy-girls are so sweet. My goodness, I learned more about mascara in five minutes with them than I've learned my whole life!" Maggie Shephard says. "They're all going to burn in eternal damnation forever for loving the cock, but boy they sure can lip-sync!"

"They're decent folk," Maggie's husband Buddy agrees. While there is talk about taking down the wall and putting the Jerry Falwell pee stain up for auction on eBay, Earl Ramirez says there are no firm plans to do anything except make the Demillo rest room available for both devout Christian and urinater alike. At least for the time being, Jerry Falwell's legacy will continue to take a decidedly unexpected turn towards tolerance, courtesy of this small New York theater.

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