Science jokes!

[Merrick]

some of my own creations (a couple might be a bit esoteric)

Why did the stuck up bacteria go to the clinic?
To get plasmid surgery.

What did one chromosome say to the other at the dance?
You're stepping on mytosis.

Why did the electron enjoy watching television in his wife's underwear?
He had a few strange quarks.

Did you hear about the Atoms getting a divorce?
They shared a covalent bond at first but by the end they were hanging on by a Van der Waal's interaction

Several bacteria are sitting at a bar when a protein complex walks up to one, taps him on the shoulder, say's, "Hey buddy, nice shirt," and slugs him in the stomach before the bacteria can finish saying "Thank you." The protein complex walks up to another bacteria and says, "Hey pal, I like your tie" and breaks a bottle over his head. Watching all this unfold, a third bacteria says to the bartender, "Hey, that guy's pretty mean. What's his beef?" To which the bartender replies, "Oh, that's just MAC. He's part of the compliment system."

I'm such a nerd.

[Kire]

1. you are a nerd

From the thread that inspired this thread:

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

[BlueEyedSon]

2. "You're stepping on mytosis."

Oooh, that's good!

[eridani]

3. OK, what about scientist, engineer and mathematician jokes?

A scientist, an engineer, a mathematician and a computer programmer were asked to prove or disprove the theorem that all odd numbers are prime.

Mathematician: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime. Clearly the theorem is false.

Scientist: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime, but that may be experimental error. 11 is prime, 13 is prime, well, that's a lot of data points. The theorem is provisionally true, but more research is needed.

Engineer: It would sure be convenient if that was true. 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, 15 is prime, 17 is prime, 19 is prime, 21 is prime, 23 is prime, 25 is prime, 27 is prime--yep sort of looks like it so far.

Programmer: It's obvious that to check a large number of cases, you need a good program. Here comes the printout--1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime.....

[crispini]

4. LOL. Ok, here's one.

A sales guy, a hardware guy, and a software guy are all in a car when it breaks down and won't start again.

The sales guy says, "Obviously, we need a new car."

The hardware guy says, "Let's just move some of the pieces around and see if that works."

The software guy says, "Turn the car on and off again and that'll do it."

[crispini]

5. Ooo. And my favorite!

How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, that's a hardware problem.

[hvn_nbr_2]

8. An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician

How to tell the difference between an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician.

The engineer walks into a room, sees a fire burning in the corner, looks up on the wall and sees a fire extinguisher, so he takes down the fire extinguisher and puts out the fire.

The physicist walks into a room, sees a fire buring in the corner, looks up and sees a fire extinguisher, calculates the heat of the flame, the amount of the fuel, the type and amount of retardant in the fire extinguisher, concludes that the fire extinguisher is sufficient and puts out the fire.

The mathematician walks in, sees the fire, sees the fire extinguisher, considers the problem solved and leaves.

[eridani]

10. The mathematician said

"Aha! A solution exists!"

That's how I heard it.

[Rooktoven]

9. That one is worth copying--nt :)

[Dogmudgeon]

6. Let's all give a big hand ...

... to the Thalidomide Babies!

--p!

[NuttyFluffers]

7. hahaha! that's the funniest thing in this thread! :D

ohh, i'm probably gonna go to hell for laughing at that one... ha ha ha :D but damn, that was the funniest one so far.