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What pets write in their diaries

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Obamanaut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-21-09 09:25 PM
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What pets write in their diaries

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary..
Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges.. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.......
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flying_wahini Donating Member (856 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-14-09 10:24 PM
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1. loved it !!!
good one
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JPZenger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-02-09 05:31 PM
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2. Great
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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-10-09 02:59 PM
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3. That was really good!
:rofl:
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onestepforward Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 01:57 AM
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4. LOL! This is great! n/t
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Louisiana1976 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-17-09 09:59 PM
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5. Hilarious!
:rofl:
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47of74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-14-10 01:19 PM
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6. That is so totally my sister's cat.
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blm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-09-10 11:12 AM
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7. heheh....glad I found this....reminded me of MO'Ds Diary of Socks the Cat
Funny stuff.
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