"How Mousetraps Actually Work" or "What the Mouse Said to the Cheese"

[Boojatta]

Hello there, piece of cheese. This seems to be my lucky day. Don't bother to explain why you are here or how you got here. I can guess. A cow just happened to be wandering by, indoors, and spilled some milk. The milk turned itself into a piece of cheese with perfectly flat sides, and I happened to bump into the cheese before it spoiled in this room temperature environment. What incredible good luck for me!

However, there's an alternative explanation that should be considered. My preconscious mind has given up. It has decided that my drab life will never include any genuine happiness, so there's no reason for me to pursue happiness, and with no successful pursuit of happiness in my future, there's no need for me to perceive reality. It has kindly fulfilled my deepest wishes to the best of its ability by providing this hallucination.

I am a mad mouse, but there's no need to add humiliation to my already grim situation. Come away with me, piece of cheese, so that we may continue this conversation in private. Unless you utter some spoken objection, I will assume that I have your consent to take you away from here. I'm going to touch you now. Hmmm, you seem to be attached to a complicated mechanism of some sort. This may hurt a bit. I'm afraid that I'm going to have to give you a forceful pull...