How to raise your kid to be a...

[rusty charly]

How to raise a kid to become a Democrat

1. Begin in infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute. It will also encourage him to pick up cuter phrases that will blow off the top of your head later.

3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is 21, and then let him decide for himself.

4. Avoid the use of the word "wrong." It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and that he is being persecuted.

5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around - books, shoes, and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others.

6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.

7. Quarrel with your spouse frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will not be too shocked when the home breaks up later.

8. Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?

9. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.

10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.

11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him."
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http://www.baltimoresun2.com/talk/showthread.php?p=3374460

How to raise a child to become a Republican

1. Begin in infancy to allow the child to take everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him nothing; it’s already his.

2. When he picks up bad words, tell him to make some formulaic apology, and then continue to use the words. After all, you’ve already taught him everything is his; why should he have to worry about common laws of decent conversation?

3. Teach him that spiritual training involves ritualistic adherence to rules for which he has no understanding and for which he feels no need to bring into his daily life. That way, when he is 21, he won’t have to decide anything for himself.

4. Avoid the use of the word "wrong."; it may cause him to develop a conscience. Not having a conscience will allow him to believe later, when he is arrested for lying to those who put him in a position, that he can simply ignore their claims.

5. Pick up nothing he leaves lying around - books, shoes, and clothing. Have the illegal alien you hired do it for him. After all, he’s above responsibility.

6. Don’t let him read just any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast only on those things that reinforce his own view of the world – otherwise, he might learn something.

7. Don’t quarrel with your spouse in the presence of your children. Just cheat on her and embarrass her in public, and then blame it on someone else when the home breaks up later. Be particularly aware of using your wide stance in public rest rooms.

8. Give the child all the spending money he wants, just make sure none of it is yours.

9. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.

10. Take his part against any one who disagrees, tries to teach or just converse with him about important issues. Make sure he understands and repeatedly points out to them that they are all evil people when they don’t agree completely.

11. When he gets into real trouble, cover your backside by ignoring him – at least that way you’re consistent.

12. Make all of these imbecilic lists, the only intent of which is to divide, apple only to the male gender – after all, women are only good for serving your ego anyway.

[maryf]

1. Great, here's some more for either party, fits in both

Some things you didn't include in either column:

Don't let him go out by himself, even into the yard if you have one! (who needs imaginative play!)

Make sure he plays every sport he can, and drive him there, plan every second of his day.

Do absolutely everything together as a family, even taking him with you when invited to dinner.

Do not go out as husband and wife alone on a date and never get a babysitter.

Make sure he has a cell phone by age ten.

Allow them to join in to all adult conversations when you have company, and if he interrupts a conversation encourage him to keep speaking.


Later on in life, go to job interviews with him, take care of his checking accounts, and let him call you from work, if he's able to get a job.

If we don't stop disabling and enabling our kids this society will be even more disfunctional than it is now. Thanks for this!