I'm at a crossroads and need advice/feedback

[supernova]

I don't really know what to do. And this group seems like the best place to put these thoughts down and ask for feedback.

First of all, I love my church, mostly because I love the people there.

Here's the brief outline: This is the church I grew up in, was confirmed in, spent summers going to camp in. They gave me my first Bible. My first playmates were the minister's sons. I remember going down to the parsonage basement to drink cold root beer after a day spent rolling down green, fertile hills.

I was away for about 10 years being a yound adult, married, and moved away, etc. In 1996, I started reattending upon the deaths of my parents. The minister buried both my parents. At the time I joked that I felt like some kind of homing beacon had be turned on. Suddenly worship seemed more valuable to me than ever before. Suddenly they weren't just words on a page. "I am with you always." really meant something to me. Being in worship brought tears to my eyes every Sunday.

I enjoyed the minister immensely. Not only is she learned, but funny as well. She laughed uproariously when presented with a THONG for her birthday, by none other than a lady whom everyone considers to be The World's Sexiest Grandma! :D (And yes, this person deserves her own thread!)

Everyone is good-natured. Well, I've had one recent (last week) incident involving the congregation bossy busybody. Bottom-line: everyone is as nice and friendly as you could possibly hope to meet on this earth. And they've known me all my life.

What's wrong with this picture? What's wrong with me?

Let's call it growing pains. My job within the congregation has been limited to the Congregational/Life Care Committee. This is basically, the party planning committee. Every time there is a life event or function to celebrate, here comes me and 5 other people to

1) get the cake

2) set up the hall and the decorations

2) serve the drinks and

3) clean up after it's over.

Hey,I'm Presby and we do things by committee. ;-)

My basic problem is that I would really like to be working on social justice issues: the death penalty, labor issues, international realtions and peacemaking, the kind of stuff we discuss here on DU all the time. In short, I want my religious life and my political life to be more in sync.

While I feel needed at my present church, I feel underutilized too, like there's some untapped potential in me worth exploring. While they do have an "outreach" committee," and a "misson committee" at my present church, I just feel like it isn't enough. You get to prepare for perhaps one big congregational "event" throughout the year. Perhaps the missionaries you sponsor will come give a presentation. We're welcoming home a couple who have been in Tibet the past four years next month.

Here's the dilemma: I'm not sure that's enough for me. I'm not sure just one big presentation a year on something that matter so much to me, would be enough.

I should say that while everyone is very nice, this is a very mainline, and yes insular, congregation. It's hard for them to think in terms of the world outside our little Agape paradise.

I feel like The Clash: Should I stay or should I go? Should I stay and try to rock the boat a little, try to get them to see the world outside our little congregation. amd thereby open up more social justica opportunities for myself? Or should I try something a different congratation or spirtual body all together?

[Lydia Leftcoast]

1. Perhaps there are other people who feel as you do but think they're

"the only one."

My church (large Episcopal parish) has an "activity fair" in conjunction with the first day of Sunday School in the fall. All the various affiliated groups set up an informational table and try to recruit new members.

Two years ago, one woman decided that we needed an environmental committee. She got permission from the clergy and set up a table I think maybe six people (including me) signed up.

After some educational activities for the parish, we're working on some concrete accomplishments, such as getting a bike rack for the parking lot and finding someone to conduct an environmental audit of our facilities.

Could you talk to your clergy and get permission to do something similar?

[supernova]

2. We have the same acitivtiy

The "activity Fair," and it's even associated with our Rally Day, the day in September when the new school year and thus new Sunday School year convenes. We have brunch and introduce the kids to their new teachers for the year. At the same time, there are tables set up by the various committees for what they provide and that they are seeking volunteers.

I suppose I could. Though, nothing like that has been done before. I mean, usually it's just been the various committes that have been set up to give info/educate people on their mission. For instance, the mission committee has never said BOO about the death penalty.

I'm not sure what I would focus on. I'm a bit bewildered on all the choices.

[bettys boy]

3. Around here

These sorts of committees are coordinated at the diocese level, enabling collaboration between like minded people from different parishes.

[supernova]

4. That would be nice

to do it at the dioocese, er in my case... presbetery level, but mostly churches work indivdually here.

I wonder if I could get some advice from the churces that do thisa and what ideas I could carry over.

[RevCheesehead]

5. First of all, have a heart-to-heart with your pastor.

She sounds like fun, and if she's anything like me, she'd be absolutely delighted in helping you find your way.

In the Methodist church, we have a "social concerns/justice" committee. (it is currently inactive here) You might want to contact a local UM church and ask if they have such a committee. If there's one active, ask if you can attend a couple of their meetings. You might even consider doing an ecumenical effort, with two or more churches working together.

Perhaps you could volunteer to lead a study on Jim Wallis' book, "God and Politics" (or something similar). There may well be others who feel as you do, and are wondering why your church isn't doing anything in these areas.

Around here, the biggest problem is finding people willing to take on leadership. Lots of people are willing to participate, but don't think they can take on the responsibility to lead. If YOU'RE willing to do that, I'm certain your pastor will stand behind you.

At this point, I guess I'm suggesting that you stay and see what might come from a little planting and watering. If you end up getting tremendous opposition, then you might want to re-think what you want to do. But you know these people - so go ahead and try it!

Best wishes to you. I wish you were in my congregation! :)

[bettys boy]

6. I'd suggest

Approach your church leadership about forming such a ministry under your leadership.

If there's insufficient interest within the laity of your church then seek their support for doing it as an ecumenical effort sponsored by your church.

Or, convince your pastor approach the Presbyter on your willingness to lead such a committee at the Presbyter level.

You'll catch more fish if you cast the net wide.

[FreedomAngel82]

9. Oh yes

That'd be good. We have something like that too where people can go in for counseling to this guy who used to be our preacher. That would be good to do to let your heart out. I also suggest the main preacher if you don't have a thing like that.

[supernova]

7. Thanks for the suggestions, all

I knew I could count on the wisdom of this group. :-)

Here's what I think I'll do:

I need to visit other churches who are into more social justice work and see how they set it up and integrate it into the life of the church. Because this is a tradional (original staid meaning of that word) church, I don't want to alienate the more conservative members and old-timers (who nevertheless would be happy to see me enjoying a project. :P )

I will talk to and get feedback from other members of the church who (I think, maybe I'm wrong) might be interested in such a group.

As for actually starting the group, that can be hard. All of our committees are run by elders who make up the Session, the governing body of the church. I am an elder, but not actively serving right now. I'd either have to get myself elected again; or give the group (assuming it goes through) over to another elder.

Wow. Looks like I've got my summer project lined up. :D

Thanks again, everyone. :grouphug:

[FreedomAngel82]

8. One of my moto's in life

is if you're uncertain don't do it. I think you sound like you want to stay but you also want to do more. Maybe instead of fulfilling all of your time at your church you can branch out at the local community. If you want to stay in the Christian scene try a local YMCA or something like that and see if there's anything you can do there. You seem restless to me and like you have a lot you want to do for other people. Maybe you can try volunteering at a local shelter or something and maybe seeing if you can have a sign up sheet where other people can sign up to volunteer as well. But it does sound like you want to do more, just not sure where to go and what to do. I don't think it's a church conflict. There's just not enough for you to do. Does your church have a Vacation Bible School? ALL the church's in my area do and I've helped out twice before in different area's. Depending on what you do it can be fun. If your church doesn't have one maybe you can try to talk with the leaders of your church (Elders or whatever your church calls them) and see about making a suggestion for having one and then you can help do a campaign to invite people. Just a suggestion.

[BlackVelvet04]

10. I'm sorry

but I don't understand why your work for social justice has to be tied to the church. Maybe I'm missing something.

I don't believe any church can fulfill all our needs any more than one friend can fulfill all of our needs.