Short rant

[Critters2]

I hate doing weddings where I feel like "the help", just a hired hand. Honestly. I feel like saying "Nice flowers, dress, candles, etc. Yep, all nice. But try doing this wedding without me. Really. Just try."

I don't want a lot of attention, but to be treated like I'm in the way of the real event is just a wee bit annoying. Doesn't happen much, but when it does.....:grr:

Okay, I'm done. Thank you.

[RevCheesehead]

1. Do you have a "wedding director"?

Sometimes the power goes to their head, and I feel like an accessory. But now that I'm more assertive, I'd simply let them know in advance, "I'll do the rehearsal, you do the choreography."

If it's the wedding party, I hope you told them in advance what your fee is. One time, I got $5 and a Snoopy card. :eyes:

[Critters2]

2. I insist on being paid no later than the start of the rehearsal

So, I've been paid.

And, so far, I've never worked with a wedding director. I've heard the horror stories, and am dreading the day! No, it was the mother of the bride who was the pain this time. Among other things, asked if I could move (from the center of the chancel), as I was obstructing the view of the flowers. And let me know how much those flowers cost!

It's one of those situations where you know the reception is the real event, and the service (What?! It's a worship service?!) is just the thing they have to do to have a reason to hold the reception.
The thing is, I will do my best to make the service nice for them, in spite of the fact that I could just as easily think of it as a half hour out of my day, and "phone it in" and I don't think they'd notice. But if the DJ screws up, God help him!!

But no, I've been paid. I was once stiffed--for a wedding where I drove quite a distance to do it at another church (a UMC pastor was at Annual Conference, and the couple really wanted it that weekend. The bride was a granddaughter of one of my parishioners). No check at all, zip, zilch, nada.
I do my best to see that that doesn't happen again!

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Get someone in your church to serve as the "Wedding Coordinator" --

let that person tell couples what the fees are for building use, pastor's time, the wedding coordinator's time, how many meetings there will be with the pastor, what kind of decorating can be done, etc. And have a policy in place for something like "No decorations except flowers -- no tapes, nails, staples, glues, or anything of the sort is to be used. The building will be open two hours before the wedding for photos and preparation, and will be closed 45 minutes after the service. Photos and videos are allowed, but the video camera must be anchored in a non-conspicuous space, and once the worship service starts the photographer(s) may not move except in the very back of the church, and may not use flashes at all."

Get all the money upfront, and let the wedding coordinator be the "bad guy" who tells the people to shut up during rehearsal, who tells the mother of the bride to stop being such a goddamn bitch and to shut the fuck up and let the professionals decide on the church stuff, and to tell the bride that Diva Bridezilla bitchness will not be tolerated, and to deal with the photographer and videographer and coordinate flower delivery and set up, etc.

Then you can do a rehearsal in 30 minutes or less; let the coordinator deal with all the crap about opening the building, etc., and you just show up before the wedding in enough time to go greet the bride, hang a few minutes with the groom and the groomsmen, then lead the worship service and then you're done.

I hate most weddings.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

4. My church has a pamphlet outlining the costs for the

priest, the music, and the janitors, as well as requirements to attend counseling sessions and to get permission from the bishop to marry in the church if they're divorced. (They have to prove to the priest's satisfaction that they're over the previous marriage and have been working on the problems that caused it to fall apart.)

[AspenRose]

5. My father-in-law did my ceremony

...and boy, have *I* been paying for it ever since!

(Just kidding!)

;) :evilgrin: