Anyone ever done two funerals on the same day?

[Critters2]

I will be, Thursday. First time I've had this happen, and I'm slightly afraid I'll drop the wrong name in one service or the other. I've already got EVERY WORD of both liturgies typed up, so as to avoid mishaps, but...

I once had a stretch of 4 days with a funeral every day, which was stressful enough!!

[RevCheesehead]

1. Wow.

Extra prayers are headed your way, Critters. I know how draining even one funeral can be.

You could probably use a couple of these, too. :hug::hug::hug:

[Critters2]

3. Thanks, Rev

Just got home from the meal for the second one, and I really am exhausted. Both were well received, though I wasn't all that pleased with one of the sermons--the sermon at the service I wanted to go especially well, because I really liked the woman. Again, no complaints--in fact, a good many compliments--but I think I could have done better.

The other was someone who had lived here for a long time, but spent the last 10 years in an assisted living center out of state. I'd never met her. That family seemed really distraught, so I focused on dealing with pastoral issues in that sermon. I fear the other one got short shrift.

Otoh, I keep thinking of the Ford family and clergy dealing with all that, and my work seems easy.

I also think, again, of what a privilege it is to be invited into people's lives at times like this, what an honor. Which is why I always want to do it well.

Also doing a little reflecting on the committal service done by the grandson of one of the ladies. I realized that one difference between mainline/Progressive Christians and Conservatives is that we accept ideas like eternal life and God's endless love without worrying about the logistics, details, mechanics of it all. I preached on Romans 8, and talked about our assurance of eternal life. Then he said some similar things, but went into real detail about how Jesus died on the cross for our sins, maybe everyone doesn't get in (which I would never preach--at a funeral or anywhere else), just much more emphasis on the how, less on the what, imo.

I so rarely hear conservatives preach that, when I do, I'm really struck by how different our take on the faith is.

Well, off to a hot shower and Keith!!

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. One of the more offensive aspects of 'evangelical' "theology"

is that they will use even a funeral as an altar call.

It's especially bad when they say bad things about the dead, and that they aren't getting into Heaven. I haven't been to one of those, but I have a friend who went to one like that over the summer: actually called the deceased an unrepentant sinner, right in front of the family, and used the deceased's life as the springboard for a sermon on how everyone there needs to believe (in his way, of course) so they don't go to hell, too.

Awful shit, that.

But even if they don't go that far, the 'evangelical's' need to turn the funeral into an altar call is fucking offensive.

[RevCheesehead]

6. My Grandma's pastor did that at her funeral.

There were probably no more than 30 people there. Remember, my brother and I both are pastors... and my Dad is - well, educated in theological matters. Anyways, the pastor says "I want every one here who knows they're going to heaven to stand up." I exchanged :eyes: with my brother, and sat still. My Dad and I were the last ones to stand up. He told me later "I really wanted to stay put, but it was only out of respect to your mother that I stood up... I didn't want to upset her."

Like I said, :eyes:.

[murielm99]

2. The saddest funeral(s)

and visitations for my church happened seventeen years ago, when three children in the same family were killed in a car accident. Two pastors handled it. I don't think our wonderful pastor could have done it alone.

The little girl had her license for only one month. She drove under a milk truck. The milk truck driver and his family go to our church, too. Since this is a small town, just about everyone was affected.

They were good kids, too. The little boy was in my son's third grade class.

I think the pastors in town all helped and supported our pastor. I tried to say some kind words to our pastor. I don't know how you people do that sort of thing. We were all distraught. I had a hard enough time with my children.

[Critters2]

4. That must have been awful for everyone.

I once co-officiated at a funeral for two college girls, roommates and best friends, who were killed together in a car accident. That was hard enough, but not as difficult as what you've described. How sad.

It's good to know the clergy in your town were supportive. That helps a lot. Some days, I don't know what I'd do without supportive colleagues.




I'm going to go put my feet up now...

[Critters2]

7. I had a suicide funeral over the weekend, the second I've ever done

This was a real tragedy. The gentleman had a lot of troubles--depression, substance abuse, others. Lived in a county high-rise across the street from the church, and worshiped with us fairly regularly, but never joined the church. Said it was too hard to leave his CAtholic upbringing. He was well-loved by all at church, and was a special favorite with children, because he love to make them laugh--and then laugh along with them!

He lost his temper in an argument and got arrested. Apparently, he was terrified of going to prison. So, he took his life.

The really sad thing is that he gave his family--siblings and grown daughter--the impression that he was completely alone here, no support, no community. They considered having no service, but found a stack of our worship bulletins while cleaning out his apartment, and called me. I assured them that he was well-loved, and that many would want to gather to give thanks for his life. So, they held a service. And the room was full--staff from a coffeehouse he visited daily, members of my church, residents of his high-rise, two twelve-step meetings, many friends. The family was overwhelmed.

And there were many tears at church Sunday morning, especially from those who sat in the back corner of the sanctuary, where he always sat with the young families. The thing that was saddest is that he didn't know or didn't feel how many people loved him. That breaks my heart.

Important lessons here--first, that we must be community to one another, that we must let others know we love them. Secondly, that we must look for the blessings in our lives, and be open to love and support.

I'm still pondering what the pastoral lessons are. They seem legion.

Thanks.