I need to vent about a retired pastor who belongs to my church.

[Critters2]

Don't know where else to do it, so here goes.

This retired pastor, one of three in this church (UCC, but not former pastors of this congregation) attends the local ministerial association. He has made no secret of the fact that he really liked my predecessor and doesn't like changes I've made since I've been here.

So, today at ministerial association, he was bitching about how fewer people were in worship on Christmas Eve than when he first came here 18 years ago. He went on and on about how the sanctuary used to be full, but now it's practically empty. I was both hurt and angry.

Especially because everyone else tells me that this sanctuary was never full--not even on Christmas and Easter--that the church overbuilt to look impressive to the community. He also didn't mention that there was a terrible conflict 15 years ago that literally split the congregation in half. Nor did he mention that attendance is up since I've been here, and we now have a youth group which we didn't have, a choir, a bunch of things that weren't here when I came.

Part of my frustration is that he was doing this bitching in front of Evangelicals who will take great pleasure in thinking our church isn't faring well. I just thought it was inappropriate.

And I needed to bitch.

[supernova]

1. Isn't he just a little ray of sunshine?

:eyes:

The same thing is happening to all the liberal/mainline denoms w/ declining attendance overall. Glad your church is doing well though.

I don't know what to tell you; difficult people really upset me, so I'm not great at dealing with them. :-( I would be inclined to say something very impolitic like "if you want another church feel free to go."

[RevCheesehead]

2. Bitch away, sweetheart.

We're here for ya. :hug:

I think sometimes retired pastors are so frustrated because they're no longer the center of attention, and they see things changing and want to believe that the change is responsible for declining attendance. In fact, this is true of many of the older people in the congregations. What they don't realize is that the church has been horrible in keeping up with the modern world.

What's especially unfortunate is that he is making these statements without realizing that his words are hurting you, and casting a negative light on your ministry. How sad for him, as well as for you!

All I can offer is a virtual hug, and all my love. Believe me, I've been there, and I know how miserable it can be. Believe in yourself, see the people you ARE reaching, and rejoice! :hug::hug::hug:

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Wow - what a dick.

But, I do remember hearing that the two jobs most tempting for psychopaths are policemen and clergy.

One would think he would have the decency, if he has issues, to speak to you privately about it and not to announce it loudly and publicly.

I wonder if he's one of those old guys, perhaps E&R, that doesn't like women pastors. That doesn't necessarily need to be the case, but it could be.

More than likely, though, he's just a boor and an ass.

I'm sorry you have to go through all that bullshit.