Thinking about going back to church

[SCDem]

Hello all!
I was raised Catholic... with baptism, communion, confirmation etc. Though our family was not practicing regular church attendance by the time I was 10 I still have memories of my youth tied to church.

I now have a son (15 months) and was thinking about introducing him to the UU Church. I have attended UU services before and been inside UU facilities for political meetups. The reason why I was thinking that UU would be good is because it would give a broad perspective of religion in the world and the history of religion as well as providing a sense of community.

There is no UU church in my town the closest one about 1/2 hour away. Do you DUers think I should venture to find a potential spiritual/intelectual home one day a week 20 minutes away or should I just try attending a Methodist or Episcopalean church in my own little town even though I really don't believe in their whole philosophy?

[Lydia Leftcoast]

1. If you find a reasonable Episcopal church, no one is going to

question you about your beliefs to closely. (There are some uptight conservative parishes that join in the tantrums about women priests and gay marriage, but most are fine with both.)

I love the sense of tradition, the recurring patterns of the church year, "the fellowship of kindred minds," the music, and the opportunities for community service. However, each parish has its own personality.

It's handy not to have to travel long distances to go to church, because much of the attraction is in the non-Sunday activities.

Methodists are much more variable, from extremely liberal to extremely conservative, and they aren't much into liturgy.

If you don't have a denominational loyalty, attend all the liberal churches in town once and be sure to attend coffee hour and talk to people. (If nobody talks to you at coffee hour, that's a sign that the parish is cliquish.)

Eventually, one will feel right.

[pelagius]

2. I'm with Lydia on this one...

...I think the Episcopal Church is a wonderful place for ex-Catholics, especially if you love the liturgy and ceremony of the Mass. Very little dogma is required, although it is most definitely a Christ-centered institution. There's a saying that no matter what odd thing you believe, there's another Episcopalian who holds the same belief. The church simultaneously embraces the hard right fundie Bible thumpers -- although they're much better-educated and genteel than most of the breed -- and liberal-to-the-point-of-heresy rationalists. It's really quite amazing. In most urban and suburban areas, there's a moderate-to-liberal Episcopal congregation. Hint: If an American church calls itself "Anglican" odds are it's quite conservative.

The UUs are much more open to non-Christian faiths and ideas than the Episcopal Church. I spent several years in an UU congregation and ultimately left because I felt that the only heresy -- in my particular group -- was believing that God became Incarnate in Jesus the Christ. Quite narrow-minded of me, I freely admit! :-) Being a UU clarified for me how Christian my thoughts and beliefs really were and I moved into the Episcopal Church very grateful for my time with the UUs.

Along the way, I spent some time in a United Church of Christ (UCC). Waggishly labeled "Unitarians Considering Christ" by some critics, this group offered the same commitment to social justice and free inquiry as the UUs, but are firmly rooted in the Christian tradition. Liturgy is not their strong suit, but were I not an Episcopalian, I'd probably be in the UCC.

Good luck and Godspeed on your journey!

[kwassa]

3. My experience as a UU didn't give me a broad perspective of religion

in fact I received so little education about religion that I did not know that Easter celebrated the reseurrection of Christ until I was an adult and had left UU. I am not joking when I say this. I had no idea that Good Friday was about the crucifixion of Jesus.

The UU church may have changed in the years that have elapsed since I left it, but it used to be a place where the word "God" was never mentioned. I don't think it has changed very much.

The one very useful thing that we did in our UU Sunday School was visit the worship places of other faiths, from Jewish synagogues, to black Baptist churches, to Russian orthodox churches. Most of these I found more interesting than UU, but we really didn't learn anything specific about these faiths. It was just a basic field trip.

My primary objection to UU is, I think, that there is no real effort that I could see to study either Christianity or any other religious faith or even the subject of spirituality is a systematic way. I saw it then and I see it now as basically a secular humanist society rather than a church, as I define a church to involve some type of worship of the divine, regardless of how broadly that concept is defined.

[SCDem]

4. Thank you for your insight into the UU Church

The problem I am facing is that there is so much of the traditional christian doctrine that I do not believe in. I feel others of course have a right to believe and worship however they please. But I remember attending a catholic service (Every time my mom comes to town I'll go to the local Catholic church with her) and in the sermon he said "If you do not believe that God created the world than you are not a Christian." That statement got me off guard because I do enjoy hearing sermons and relating to every day life and struggles and how to confront or overcome these but there is so much of the Bible that I just don't agree with and much that most Christian people accept and to think otherwise is heresey.

I did look at the website of our local Episcopal Church (It states that it is conservative) so not the best impression. One of the local Methodist churches spelled out what they believe on abortion and homosexuality and all the hot topics and none of them really turned me off. But still there is that whole heaven and hell and old testament and the fact that the books of the bible were written at so many different times and hence "scripture" is not just pure scripture but was also a reflection on the politics and culture of the times when written.

There is a book called Sophie's World that I will share with my son not just for fiction sake later on but also to explore different religions and philosophies. I just don't know if a traditional Christian church would accept the likes of me without trying to convert me.

[lukasahero]

5. I grew up in a very liberal Methodist church

Depending on the particular church you attend, you may or may not encounter some of the ideologies you are leery of. Actually, my experience is that has more to do with the pastor than the church itself since they're the ones who write the sermons. I'm not sure you will find a church that specifically sets out to "convert" you but they all will obviously discuss the tenets of their faith.

Some of it has to be based, however, on how involved in the church you want to be and how reasonable it would be for you if that church were farther away. I am also thinking of going to a UU church but they are relatively abundant up here in "liberal Massachusetts". If I could make a recommendation it would be this - the only way you'll know what the Methodist church has to offer is to try it. (Trust me, they won't hold you hostage to convert you the first time you attend ;-)) If you like it, great, if not, try somewhere else.

Good luck.

[SCDem]

6. Thanks

I was planning on trying out the UU church this weekend in the neighboring town but I might start local and attend the Methodist service this Sunday in my own town. I know a few of the Dems in our county Dem party have made reference to it in the past so maybe it will be good.

I'm just looking for Sunday service and not much beyond that. I'm already involved in the our County Democratic stuff and then all my son's early evening activities. I just think it would be nice to introduce my son to Christianity.

We'll see :)

[pelagius]

7. I'm disappointed your local Episcopal church...

...is outside the mainstream and think you've made a wise choice to avoid it.

[pelagius]

8. Methodists are not particularly dogmatic

But still there is that whole heaven and hell and old testament and the fact that the books of the bible were written at so many different times and hence "scripture" is not just pure scripture but was also a reflection on the politics and culture of the times when written.

Methodists are often in the forefront of "liberal" understandings of the Bible and what it says. I can't speak for your local church, since my experience is on the urban West Coast and not the small-town South, but -- from a denominational point of view -- the types of issues you raise are in the mainstream of contemporary Methodist thought.

[RevCheesehead]

10. I'd LOVE to have you in my congregation!

Would you like to move to Wisconsin? :)

[RevCheesehead]

9. Some suggestions from the preacher:

I think a great way to gauge a church is to look at its community outreach. Which ones are actively involved in the needs of the community? Are there outside groups which use the facilities (like AA, support groups, etc..).

Do you know any people who attend there? Ask around about the church's reputation. People will let you know if they're troubled...they ALWAYS know.

Do they have an active Sunday School? Are there any children in the congregation? And, VERY IMPORTANT: What curriculum are they using?

Check the narthex (lobby area) for posted information, flyers, etc. See if there's a newsletter - that will give you a wealth of information! If you see "Focus on the Family", FLEE FOR YOUR LIFE!

Get a bulletin and read through it, including order of worship and the announcements. Find out what the church itself thinks is important (it's usually what they give time and $ to).


Southern Churches present a unique problem, because many Methodist churches tend to lean Baptist in worship and theology. Little country churches may be appealing at first, but they are run by certain families (for better or worse). If you're in a city, then you have a better shot at something more liberal.

I served in NC for several years, and had a hell of a time. Now I'm in WI (my home), and I'm much more comfortable. I'm a liberal preacher who uses traditional liturgy, a good mix of music, and lots of liberal, socially-aware, biblically-based theology. (I preached on SpongeBob on two Sundays!)