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I have finally done something sensible!

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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-14-08 12:34 PM
Original message
I have finally done something sensible!
As of last Thursday, I am on a personal leave of absence for a month.

Last summer, my dad fell and hit his head pretty hard. He has since that time slipped into a progressively worsening (yeah, I know) dementia, and in March, he moved into a "Memory Care" unit. I found myself stressed beyond imagination, having to move the remainder of his (and mom's) belongings to my home, 3 hours away, with Dad unsure about what was happening. I've also had to assume legal power of attorney. Fortunately, he had already put me on all of his bank accounts, so I am now paying all his bills... but still!

Things at church continue to be stressful, with certain people harassing me about the messy parsonage. And the usual characters continued to criticize everything imaginable. Then the PPR committee met, and told me that they were "concerned" about me. They wanted certain things done by the first week of May - like cleaning my parsonage :grr: - and I told them what was going on. Though they were sympathetic, they felt I still needed to do these things. So I called the District Superintendent, and filled him in.

Long story short: I cannot take "family leave" time unless I am seeking a change in my appointment status. That means I would be without a salary - or a home - during the time I was on leave. :eyes: So I told him that I was stressed beyond measure, and had to do something. The church approved me taking 4 weeks of personal time, and now I can focus on my life.

Sometimes you just have to walk away, huh?
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-14-08 05:23 PM
Response to Original message
1. That sounds like a very sensible move
I hope that you can get squared around.

:hug:

And how are your housekeeping habits their business, BTW? I'm totally incapable of cleaning my apartment when I'm overworked or stressed out.
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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-14-08 05:37 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. I am currently fighting that battle with the PPR committee.
Half of the committee agrees with me, too. But their consensus was that if I showed I was doing everything I could to cooperate, then they would have a leg to stand on when they (promise to) confront the troublemakers in the church. AND: they're promising if THEIR behavior keeps up, then they're going to ask the troublemakers to shape up or leave.

I'll believe it when I see it.

Thanks, Lydia. Today was a good day. :hug:
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-15-08 05:41 PM
Response to Original message
3. Very wise. Good for you!! Now do what you need to to take care of yourself.
As to the parsonage, I'm sorry you're being hassled about this. I wish churches would understand that, while you're living there it's YOUR home. No one hassles them about the conditions of their homes. It would also be nice if they would take into consideration all that's been going on in your life. But I've dealt with churches too long to expect much, I'm afraid.

I am glad you talked to your DS and got this much worked out. Now take the 4 weeks and focus on you.

Because, yeah, sometimes you just have to walk away. :hug:
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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-15-08 08:10 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Amen!!
Thanks, sis. I just knew you'd understand. :hug:
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Shoelace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-18-08 10:49 AM
Response to Original message
5. good on ya Rev! now find a good Christian to help clean your parsonage
must be someone there who believes in walking the walk? Don't be afraid to ask for help and if you have to, just remind them that service to others is the basic tenet of what Christ came here to teach us!

I sure feel for you concerning your father. My mother recently suffered a severe case of flu, took too many over the counter drugs, became quite forgetful for awhile (she's going to be 90 next year). She is in California, I'm in Oregon and with the price of gas, well it's not possible to get down there until we get our "gift" from Uncle Sam.
My sister who is one of those Christian women who really does walk the walk, lives next door to her, thank God, so she's helped her alot.

Let us know how things work out for you and am sending a few Angels your way to help out!

:grouphug:
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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-21-08 11:31 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. Funny how all those "good Christians" disappear...
when you're ready to take them up on their offer, isn't it? :(

My Dad's doing much better! He has adjusted to his new living quarters, loves his new room, and is very happy with the staff and the people living there. One nurse told me yesterday, "I think your Dad's doing great! He seems more like the Fred that I remember from a year ago."

Please send the angels to Whitewater - I need to get the apartment cleaned out A.S.A.P.!!

:hug: Thanks! :grouphug:
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Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-18-08 01:20 PM
Response to Original message
6. Good for you, Rev!
You need the time off to take care of yourself and
your family!

:hug: :D
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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-21-08 11:32 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. Thanks, Kajsa!
I'm really glad I did this - - I feel better than I have in months!!

:hug:
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