tape set.. "When Things Fall Apart". i listened to it every day, frequently twice.. i got meditation tape sets by Robert Thurman, jack kornfield, many others from the Insight Meditation ..
http://www.buddhanet.net/ac-instruct.htmmeditation is simply a 'method of training the mind'. there are different forms, i recommend the insight meditation, a reputable respected organization.
"How does doing NOTHING change anything" you ask, or "i tried that it didn't work".. well it does work, you probably tried the wrong method for your individual predisposition, or didn't do it right, or long enough.
i do not recommend Zen for a Beginner, meditate 10 minutes a day maximum for the first 30 days..
The Tibetans have a word for what happens in meditation.. "Skillful Means". it is a very peculiar phenomenon. essentially, your brain waves are going to change very slowly, the electrical resistance of your nervous system will lower, you will acquire the ability to assimilate oxygen better. you will begin to use your brain hemispheres as they were intended. your conventional mind will begin to quit dominating you, the natural mind will begin to surface, and the cause of the things you wish to control will gently "Fall Away" ..effortlessly.. you need to learn to stay in the present, meditation trains you to quit grasping by "Letting Go"
Discursive thoughts dominate thru essentially Newtonian Physics, "every force is met with an equal and opposite response" try to push your problems away, they grab on to you even harder, run away and they beat you to where you were going. learn to meditate and they become like clouds passing in the sky. sitting in meditation you watch the breath with about 20% of the mind, a worry, fear, anxiety, fantasy, if only, what if, OMG, WTF, REGRET, SHAME... surfaces, you name it as though you were touching a soap bubble with a feather.. and let it go.. fairly soon that process becomes normal consciousness and what you referred to just falls away.. it never actually vanishes, but you aren't its prison bitch anymore.
meditation is compared to learning to play a musical instrument.. it takes daily practice, a teacher and it takes about as long to become really proficient.. about a year. find a group if you can, i meditated about 3 or 4 months and ran into s Tibetan Lama.. he invited me to a Chenrezig Center., i attended 3 meetings a week for 5 years.
i discovered what kept me drinking was not lack will power, absence of self discipline, it was simply not having a method for dealing with the shame involved with addiction. i have been clean and sober for 8 years.
some of Pema's teachings
very good insight about getting out of discursive "Ruts"
http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Unstuck-Breaking-Habitual-Encountering/dp/159179238X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217126750&sr=8-2my personal favorite, i love her voice, adds a lot.... essential teachings, i bought 8 copies i loan out and donate to libraries
http://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1590302265/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217126750&sr=8-5http://www.amazon.com/This-Moment-Perfect-Teacher-Cultivating/dp/1590304934/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217126750&sr=8-8THIS IS HER ALL TIME BEST TEACHING, IT IS ABOUT IDENTIFYING HOW WE GET CAUGHT IN THE "LOOP".. AND HOW WE CAN LEARN TO SEE IT COMING AND SIDE STEP IT.. I BELIEVE THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE ASKING ABOUT...
http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Bite-Hook-Resentment-Destructive/dp/1590304349/ref=sr_1_31?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217126889&sr=8-31http://www.amazon.com/How-Meditate-Pema-Chodron-Practical/dp/1591797942/ref=pd_sim_b_5meditation is essential
I recommend the Video, "The Little Buddha"
best book on meditation is Diamond Mind by rob nairn
http://www.amazon.com/Diamond-Mind-Psychology-Rob-Nairn/dp/1570627630/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217131625&sr=1-1best in depth book is ... the Tibetans have been devoting their lives to the study of meditation for the last 1400 years, this is the synopsis of that study
http://www.amazon.com/Buddhism-Attitude-Tibetan-Seven-Point-Training/dp/1559392002/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217131758&sr=1-1first of all, remember this... "the Genesis of a problem has absolutely nothing to do with its Resolution", you aren't going to understand how mediation works.. so don't make it a prerequisite to successful meditation.. successful meditation is when you keep doing it, changes are slow, you are rewiring your brain, it takes a while.
you got where you are... the specific people, events, details are history, the past, to get to the future, you must learn to deal with the present.. the undesired past is a result of your ignorance of how the mind works... if your present 'View' that created that past doesn't change ..your now will continue to be more of the same un desired past.. what messes up the present is wanting things to be other than they are.. as soon as you begin to meditate you start down a middle path, crap still happens, but it becomes an opportunity to learn.. it isn't magic.. but it is magical.