How we view aging, and article for discussion

[wildflower]

I often feel that, as a culture, we have forgotten how to value our elders. As a result, the young miss out on the wisdom, humor, and vitality to be found in those older than them.

And as we age, we feel we have less and less worth. We look in the mirror and see wrinkles, not wisdom. Because in this culture, we're taught to value beauty, particularly the maiden phase of beauty.

Many of the elders are dismissed, forgotten. Some are treated terribly, some are alone and sick. This breaks my heart, and I want to do something to change it.

At any rate, I came across an article about embracing the crone phase of life. I thought the women (and men) here might like to discuss it.

Entering the Crone Age

Author Jean Shinoda Bolen talks about turning a negative stereotype into an inspiring archetype for older women.

Interview by Wendy Schuman

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/132/story_13291_1.html

[wildflower]

1. Along these lines...from another thread on DU:

<<...this is worth reading:

When an old lady died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Dundee, Scotland, it was believed that she had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through her meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Ireland. The old lady's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the North Ireland Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on her simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old Scottish lady, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this "anonymous" poem winging across the Internet: >>

read the poem (long, but worth reading) at

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3034469

[Ranec]

2. We first need to see people from other generations.

One of the interesting benefits of belonging to a church has been my interactions with people of different ages. In my life right now, I wouldn't normally have that much interaction with children or retired people.

I think we often (especially as young adults) segregate ourselves off from older people, and this changes our perception of them. If you knew the 90+ year-old couple in my congregation then it would change your conception of what a good life entails and what to expect in later years.

I agree with wildflower that our culture is focused on the young adults in many ways, and only worries about seniors when it comes time to sell prescription drug ads.

I like the idea behind this movement towards celebrating "crones." As a man though, I'm not sure what I could say. It is difficult for me to comment on the social pressures to be young that I think fall disproportionately on women.

Why isn't there a similar movement among men?
Somebody was telling the other day how my gray hair makes me look "distinguished." I think they were sincerely trying to give me a compliment. I think gray hair on women can make them look distinguished or wise, but I'm sure my wife doesn't agree (not that you have any gray hairs honey. :-) )

[wildflower]

3. I think spirituality is the primary motivating factor...

in the celebration of the Crone phase (would anyone disagree with this?); these beliefs help show/remind people the important meaning of all ages in the cycle of life.

I wonder, of the cultures and groups who revere elders, how much of it is spiritually based. Are there extremely secular societies that treat them with the same reverence?

Why there isn't a similar movement among men is a complicated question. I think it has a lot to do with the culture placing an importance on maiden-phase beauty, and fertility, in women.

-wildflower

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

4. I was raised in a female household and

my grandmother and mother taught me a lot about spirituality, and about respect for the elders. I was the youngest in a long-lived and old family. I have no children, but I have step-children and grandchildren. God willing, they will continue to listen and learn from the wisdom of their elders.