My mom thinks UU is a cult - more

[lukasahero]

Or at least that's what I think she thinks. I'm trying to find a church to attend but I have real issues about what I would be comfortable with. I was talking to my mom last week about this (she is also looking) and I mentioned that I was thinking of going to a UU and she stammered "oh but they're wacky..." and before she could get any further (we do not do politics or religion well) I cut her off and explained to her it was no such thing. My question is, where'd she get this idea? Is there another "religion" she is thinking of or is this really what some people think about UU?

Now here's another question for you UUers. Lately I've been thinking about joining a church (as I mentioned) but I haven't really been able to convince myself of why. What benefit would it be? Can anyone help me fill in that blank? What do you get out of going to church?

[wildflower]

1. I have heard of conservatives referring to UU in this way...

They see it as a liberal, let it all hang out sort of thing.

My reasons for wanting to be part of a church have included increasing spiritual learning and gaining new perspectives, making friends, and feeling a sense of connection to others and the world. I think going to church each week also helps to center some people, to give a weekly lift or restoration after the week's travails.

I'm sure others will have more to say on this. Maybe you can just check out different different types of places and see what you're comfortable with.

-wildlfower

[lukasahero]

4. Thanks

My mom's politically conservative but I grew up in a very liberal Methodist church so I was suprised that she had that impression. Guess her conservative politics are starting to change her religious leanings...

Thanks for the input about why you go. I know it's personal and appreciate your willingness to share. I think I'm looking to do it more for the "connection" reason myself. But I'm also pretty shy (I've been here on DU for almost a year and this is the 2nd post I ever started) and I suspect that while I may go to meet people, I'll also be incapable of doing just that.

Thanks again for the input!

[Ranec]

2. There are a lot of different UU's

In fact, I would venture to guess that there are some UU congregations that think that what some other UU's are doing is "wacky." The UUA is a big tent, and many people with different points of view come together.

I wouldn't be surprised if your mother heard someone like Garrison Keiler make jokes about Unitarians and how new-agey and neo-hippie they are. It is something I value in my congregation, it makes things exciting when elements of Native American Shamanism are used in your Passover celebration. :-)

I joined a church because I realized that I didn't have a community. I thought back to how my parents' church provided them with such a community, but I had rejected what I perceived as the rigid belief system of my parents. So a UU church seemed to offer a good compromise: the group without the guilt.

That isn't to say I wasn't nervous as hell the first time I attended the service, but they were nice, friendly people. I was fortunate to have 2 UU churches close enough to my house that I could do some comparison shopping, and find a group that fit me the best.

Now that I have been a member for a couple of years, I treasure the space that it provides me to feel spiritually connected. I feel a great deal of positive energy in a room full of people that are working together, that are seeking wisdom and celebrating each other.
This is the sort of experience that I find hard to describe, but has to do with what I consider sacred. I have also made some wonderful friends, learned a lot, and I like to sing hymns.

[Ranec]

3. Furthermore, check out this post

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=292x328

[lukasahero]

5. More wonderful information - thanks!

"I joined a church because I realized that I didn't have a community."

Alot of what you say here resonates with me. It may well take me a while to get up the guts to go but I suspect it will happen sooner rather than later. Thanks so much.

(Oh, and yeah, I had already read the thread you link below - I fit about 10 of them and more over I'm definitely in the "you know you're a UU when you die and are shown two signs "Heaven" and "Discuss Heaven" and you choose "Discuss". Yup, I think I'll fit right in. ;-))

[elshiva]

10. Garrison Keilor makes fun of UU, but I don't

think he means anything bad about it. He also loves to make fun of Lutherans, how they talk and sing hymns. He doesn't mean any animosity with his humor. Keilor is a religious liberal afterall...
Really RW conservatives think UU is a cult because they don't know one real thing about it. The best cure for that belief is have them attend a service. UU encourages people to think for themselves and make their own belief system. I salute the UUs. It's not my style, I'm a Jewish-Episcopalian who loves a lot of Godtalk, but it is truly an enriching faith.

[Ranec]

11. I agree, don't get me wrong,

I like Garrison Keiler. He can be hilarious, and I actually appreciate his discussion of religion. He plays with stereotypes without demonizing, and in the end you really enjoy the people he talks about.

I was just saying that the dominate stereotype is that UU's are a little flaky. In some ways this reputation is well earned and even a badge of honor.

In contrast, there was a news story going around last year that some Texas official decide that a Unitarian Universalist congregation was not a church because they didn't have a rigid creed. This sort of thinking is not funny and scares me.

[elshiva]

13. Oh, it's a church, seriously.

You do not have to have a rigid creed to be a church. What is the derivation of the word church? It is from the Hebrew qalal or assembly,from qalal yisrael, the assembled Israel, the synagogue. That is the basis of being church, being an assembled body that comes together for religious purposes.

Yes and Garrison Keilor is a great man and a committed Democrat. He loves to make fun of Dubya. And the Dubya parodies are the funniest bits of the show.

[Digit]

6. Well, why have you kept coming here?

Is it perhaps like minded people?
Well, there is your answer. It feels good to be among people who are non-judgmental and share many of your same viewpoints.
I have not been to a UU church since living in my present state, but I have decided it is time to hook up once again.
This crazy upside down world is making me long for people who share my views of the world.

[Maat]

7. And, remember, Lukasahero, what a cult is.

When they say that about my church (Church of Religious Science - another progressive faith - I also go to UU), I say, "Does my church tell me what to say? No. Does my church tell me what to think? No. Does my church tell me what to believe? No. Does my church tell me with whom to associate? No. Does my church tell me how to vote? Or restrict my behaviors against my own conscience? No and no. Whose church does that?" That usually shuts people up really quickly.

I say, "Unitarian-Universalists stand proud!"

And keep going and support your local UU Congregation/Fellowship (and take care of yourself at the same time)! It's your life and you have to stand by your principles.

[wildeyed]

8. UU a cult? Lol!

UU says think for yourself. I read a list somewhere of characteristics of cults, and another one was also secretiveness about money. The UUs don't have any. Least ways not the group in my city.

[Pacifist Patriot]

18. This is one thing that has always intrigued me about UUs.

Money. The ministers dread talking about it and the stewardship committees are sometimes hard to populate. Yet demographically I've seen reports that UUs are on average wealthier than people in other denominations, yet donate proportionately less of their income to their church.

I'll fess up to a bit of good old fashioned jealousy when I compare our old run down church to that brand new monstrosity down the road constructed by Calvary Chapel. The one that has to hire a cop to direct traffic on Sundays because their parking lot is humongous and filled to capacity.

*sigh* I'd settle for a smaller percentage of income if we had 400 attendees every week. Some day!!!!

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

9. Years ago, I read a book

by a fundamentalist minister about cults. UU was there, as was Unity, and the Sufi Order International. I laughed out loud, because my mom went to a UU church, I led the Dances of Universal Peace in a Unity Church (and sometimes attended services), and my husband and I were members of the SOI. From what I've seen from all three organizations, they are open, inviting, and don't demand complete loyalty to a leader. I thought cults were groups that were exclusive, leader driven, and demanded complete loyalty of their members....hmmm....maybe the fundy minister was really describing every group that wasn't a cult!

[Maat]

12. Oh, Ayeshahaqqiqa, I can't believe you heard that.

I'm sure my fundie relative would include my main church, Church of Religious Science in the 'cult category.'

But, like I said, I usually shut them up by saying, "Who gets told what to think? Who gets isolated?" NOT ME!

I think that religious rightie ministers are frightened that everyone will get a clue, and go somewhere worthwhile.

Sounds like that guy was describing all the congregations that weren't cults. I agree.

[elshiva]

14. The Moonies are a dangerous cult.

They brainwash their followers and Rev. Moon claims to be the Saviour. That's what I call a cult. One person telling you what to do and you just take it because he or she is God.

UU and CRS seems to me about thinking for yourself about God. That is not acceptable to some RW Christians who simply parrot the words of their preacher or take the Bible literally.

[Maat]

15. Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a retired social worker who just graduated from law school. As if anyone could tell me what to think! And I have all kinds of friends - like you, Elshiva! And I live in the middle of Southern California!

Now my relatives live in a small town in the middle of a midwestern state - and just about everyone is part of a church that belongs to the Southern Baptist Convention. Now, I wouldn't say it is a cult, but their church certainly restricts them (and their location) more than I'm restricted.

[elshiva]

16. Some forms of the South Baptist Convention

are very cult-like and disturbing. They are like an exclusive club and anyone who does not belong is gonna cook. That is too sad.

[Pacifist Patriot]

17. Good old Ron Rhodes and Lee Strobel...

I'm convinced Rhodes is absolutely obsessed with the idea of cult but he hasn't a clue what it is. Cults generally have a charismatic leader whose word is final and/or a doctrine from which members cannot deviate. Additionally, it is usually difficult to extricate oneself from a cult. Given the nature of Unitarian Universalism I have a very hard time using the word cult in connection with that denomination. Of course, I'm also biased.

Cult as used by Rhodes and Strobel seems to refer to any group of people who do not believe exactly what they believe. So from their perspective, UUs would be a cult. Personally, I think these two men are ignorant narrow-minded jackasses.

I like my church community because of precisely that. It is a community of people who support one another in good times and in bad. We encourage one another to broaden our minds and our abilities. And if that weren't enough, we throw one hell of a Mardis Gras party. ;)

[mandyky]

19. Call your local UU church and ask when their next potluck dinner is

and then take your mother to it.

A big part of church is fellowship. AA was my church for awhile. Most of my worship is "privately done".

[lukasahero]

20. My mom lives in another state

Thanks for the idea though. What I was really wondering was where she might have gotten the idea theologically, historically or culturally speaking. I wondered if she had it mixed up with another group that truly would be considered a cult and just got the names wrong.

This topic certainly has garnered a great deal of supportive responses. I do appreciate all the input.

[Az]

21. Well to be fair UUs are whacky

We are whacky, serious, joyful, depressed, enegetic, stoic, empathic, and any other description you can think of.

Many people from either end of the spectrum (churched and unchurched) are going to be skittish about UUs. No dogma? The churched think its just a social club and the unchurch suspect there is a con somewhere.

A bunch of people wandering around believing whatever they choose to? Thats pretty whacky. From the churched point of view the question is why even bother then? If there is no doctrine being preached then what are you doing hanging out together like that. And from the unchurched its a similar view. Why call yourself a church?

UUism is like art. Its difficult to decribe but once you experience it you know it when you see it.

[WildClarySage]

22. When I first moved to WV, my aunt invited me to attend an evening service

at her (fundy) church. During the service, a woman stood up and said that god had smote her family because she had not been obeying her husband.

On the way home, I said it was a very different experience than my UU church. She asked about it, and when I described the UU tenets, she asked me how I got mixed up in such a crazy church. :eyes:

[Maat]

23. That's a funny story, WildClarySage.

That's it. My fundie relatives speak of 'end-of-times.'

They think the two churches I visit, Church of Religious Science and the UU church are cult-like, and, like the posters here have said, to them, a cult is anything that is different from what their pastor preaches.

I can honestly say that, to a person, everyone I have communicated with who is a member of (1) Church of Religious Science, (2) Unitarian-Universalist, (3) United Church of Chirst, and (4) the Episcopal Church is quite the independent thinker, as well as Reform Judaism. I'm sure there are others. Most progressive Catholics I meet are very independent.

I can't say the same for the members of the religious right SBC churches.

Just an opinion.

[elshiva]

24. The Reign of God is breaking through our lives...

that is how I learned to talk of the end times. It's not about our going to Hell or Heaven, but ultimately all life being united in God.

[MountainLaurel]

25. Is she confusing them with the Moonies?

Their name is the Unification Church.

[lukasahero]

26. THANK YOU!!!!!

Yes, I think that might be it - I knew there was a "cult" that began with a U but I could not come up with the name. I do believe you've done so. This has been bugging me for a while so - THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

[MountainLaurel]

27. You're welcome!

I remembered this because they mix up in my mind too. (Of course, as a kid I attended a church that considered Catholicism a cult, but anyway . . .)

[davidinalameda]

28. a cult?

LOL

unless you consider coffee hour on Sunday cult-like

UU is far from a cult--there is no set creed; the governing is very democratic; there is no pressure to "join" the church

the reason I started attending is because I was looking for a community as well and I think that I've found it

[lukasahero]

29. See post above

The moonies "official" name is the Unification Church. I believe she was mixing up the two. It's nice to see so many people jump in to defend the UU org but I was trying to figure out why/who she was mixing it up with, not suggesting she was right. Sorry if I didn't make that clear in my OP.

[davidinalameda]

30. that makes sense

the Moonies definately are a cult

[lukasahero]

31. Agreed.

I'm looking forward to clarifying this with her. She's not the most liberal person but she's not a freak either - it was an honest (albeit uninformed) mistake. :-)

[Maat]

32. Ah, it would really make sense for a person to mix up ..

UU (as in Unitarian-Universalist) and Unification, if one hadn't researched anything about religion/theology.

Makes sense now.

I'm constantly having to state, since I belong to Church of Religious Science, "No, it's not Scientology, as in John Travolta's church. No, it's not Christian Science, as in 'I don't see doctors.' No, it's not a cult, as in 'No one tells me what to think.'"

I love visiting UU as well.