Unitarian Jihad

[Ranec]

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2005/04/08/DDG27BCFLG1.DTL

JON CARROLL
- Jon Carroll
Friday, April 8, 2005

The following is the first communique from a group calling itself Unitarian Jihad. It was sent to me at The Chronicle via an anonymous spam remailer. I have no idea whether other news organizations have received this communique, and, if so, why they have not chosen to print it. Perhaps they fear starting a panic. I feel strongly that the truth, no matter how alarming, trivial or disgusting, must always be told. I am pleased to report that the words below are at least not disgusting:

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.

....


We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: "Sincerity is not enough." We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it's true doesn't make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn't mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.

.....

People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution.

Go read the whole thing, and be reasonably unafraid!

[davidinalameda]

1. that has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read

it is so true!

[Tux]

3. Blasted fundie UUs

If those fundie UUs had it there way, society would be like this: people would be respected, justice will emerge, freedom of religion would be unquestioned, the search for truth would continue, democracy would be imposed on our government, and nature would be treated well. Can't have that....unless we vote out Republicans in 2006 and 2008.

[intheflow]

2. The VP of Student Services at my seminary has posted this on the

door to her office. The seminary is Methodist, but we UUs are infiltrating--5 staff members out of about 20 overall are UU.

Bwaaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaaaaa! :evilgrin: