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Edited on Fri Jan-14-05 05:04 PM by Shredr
I was raised Protestant by 2 open-minded but ultra-conservative parents (I know it sounds like an oxymoron, but it's true -- my mom's an ex beauty queen and my dad's a now-retired Army colonel, yet they humored me through all my eccentricities and still managed to make me feel loved). I grew up an avid reader and film watcher. One of my favorite authors is/was Nikos Kazantzakis (his SAINT FRANCIS is a treasure for anyone on a spiritual quest, Christian or not) and one of my favorite filmmakers is Martin Scorsese. So, when Scorsese announced he was releasing a film of Kazantzakis' LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST, well, you can guess which little 15-year old geek was first in line at the theatre (yes, that would be me). I thought the film was flawed but ultimately a beautiful testament to faith (at the time I was a devout Christian). The bible says Christ faced many temptations before accepting his fate and (since he was half man/ half god) why shouldn't we believe that one of those temptations was to come off the cross and live life as a humble man? In the end, just as the bible says, he does accept. That Sunday, our minister jumped on the anti-LAST TEMPTATION bandwagon and went on a venomous rampage against the film -- and anyone who would dare watch it. With everyone in the congregation (excpet me) nodding and Amen-ing, he spit fire about what a blasphemous bag of filth the film was, how Scorsese would burn in hell for making it, how we must boycott such garbage, and on and on... I sat there, jaw to the floor, taking as much as I could until I just bolted out of my seat and screamed, "You're all sheep! No one in this congregation, including you (at the preacher) has seen this film, so no one has a right to judge it. This is exactly the kind of angry mob mentality that wrongly killed Jesus. You should all be ashamed." And I stormed out (all proud of myself, I might add). My mom, of course, turned purple and ran out after me, ashamed of what I had just done. I never went to church again. Years later, I was a Comparative Religions minor in college, where I learned about Mithras, Osiris and the other "pagan" gods that Christianity borrowed from and I completely lost my faith. I studied religions from a much more clinical point of view, fascinated by the effect it had on people and the lengths to which people would go to earn their place in heaven, but I was numb to any personal god. I devoured Nietzche, wore all black and took myself way too seriously (on top of that, I was a very pretentious film student, making really bad angry little movies about abandoning gods and whatever). In the years since, I have calmed down, thrown away most of my black wardrobe and inverted pentagons and come to accept that there is a lot about this world we do not yet understand. I have not found a church to affiliate myself with yet (although some of those links above look promising, thanks for those). I do believe in a Greater Power, a Universal Force. I don't mind if that force is called God. I think a lot of good and a lot of evil has been done in the name of God. I loved CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD and took to heart the idea that the best prayer is, "Thank you." My life is better for it. I look forward to discussions in this group. Just what has been said already has opened my eyes (by, among others, Az, whose posts I have read all over DU with much pleasure, whose opinion and point of view I have great respect for).
Shrader
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