Quasi-legal question about visitation

[Tab]

I have sole custody of my son - his mother has major psych issues, but she has visitation and joint legal custody (meaning, he doesn't live with her, but she can still participate in legal decisions such as medical, educational, etc.).

Due to a dispute (and we've been divorced some 5 years now) which I won't get into, other than to say that it originally involved alimony and now involves her giving (or actually not giving) him permission for a passport to go on a trip with his grandmother out of the country), I need to get a better feel of what his and her rights are. She originally agreed, then rescinded, I'm pretty sure because of the alimony thing. And yes, her psych issue would not put punishing her son for my dispute with her out of the question.

He doesn't want to visit her. The divorce stipulations allow her unlimited visitation by mutual agreement, contemplating that she wasn't always in the best of health and he could visit when she was up to it, but now I'm faced with her wanting him to visit and him being feeling betrayed and angry and not wanting to have anything to do with her, or even talk to her (he's 10, btw).

Although I've told him he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to (in this issue), can she insist he come over to her place? Or can visitation be satisfied simply by her visiting him here, without overnights? FYI, I live in New Hampshire.

He really was blindsided by this one and doesn't want anything to do with her at the moment, but I'm unclear as to how far I can go in standing up for him without cutting off her right to visitation or communicating with her child. I prefer to err on the side of his mental safety, but preferably without opening up a new can of worms.

Thoughts?

[mrgorth]

1. Sorry dude

I think you need a lawyer on this one.

[electron_blue]

2. I agree. And get the best you can afford, with specialty in child custody

It's nearly impossible to do what you want to do, legally. The laws almost always err on the side of the parent who wants more time with the child. The courts are a sucker for a "reformed" parent, and all she has to do is claim she's seen the light and will be a great mom from here on out and the court will eat it up. Not always, of course, but most of the time. A really good lawyer, however, can give you many good tips of how to make the best of a bad situation (legally).

Also - what does she really want? Do you think she really wants more time with him, or is she using this as an issue to get what she really wants, such as those other issues you alluded to. Maybe if you tend to those issues, the requests for increased visitation will go away. I'm not saying she's trying to blackmail you, but that maybe it's just a big complicated jumbled mess and this is one way she's trying to handle it. Sometimes when people don't get what they really want, they get greedy and grab for everything.