About the name of this group.

[Skinner]

I think that a few members have raised legitimate questions about the name of this group. Two main issues have been raised:

1) The name "Survivors of Divorce" implies that only those who have already been through divorce are welcome here. I think that this was not the intent of the name or the group, so I think it should be changed. This group is also intended for people who are not yet divorced, or who are dealing with relationship issues that could lead to separation or divorce, and I think the name should reflect that.

2) The word "divorce" is a legal term which only applies to heterosexual couples, because the law discriminates against gays and lesbians and does not let them marry. However, I think in a progressive community like this one, we should not exclude people simply because the law does so. I'm sure we all agree that gays and lesbians involved in break-ups of long-term relationships are forced to deal with many of the same emotional and legal issues experienced by heterosexual couples who are getting divorced.

So, I propose that we change the name. I think we should include the word "divorce" in the name of the group to honor the original intent, but I think we should also include a parallel term like "separation" so we are inclusive of gays and lesbians (and even heterosexuals in long-term relationships who are not legally married). I read some suggested names, and I propse the following:

"Coping with Divorce or Separation Group"

If anyone would like to suggest a different name, or if anyone has any comments or questions, please post them in this thread.

[unblock]

1. i think this works well

an alternative would be simply "divorce or separation group" but i think that's just a matter of style, i tend to favor terse if it's sufficient. i don't see the "coping with" as being necessary.

but, "coping with" is more inclusive than "survivor of", since the latter implies an event in the past, whereas the former isn't specific. so my earlier objection to "survivor of" doesn't apply here.

so, "coping with divorce or separation group" is fine with me.

regardless, thank for creating this group. may our discussions be less contentious than the battle over the group name

:)

[Barad Simith]

2. I agree, it would be a change for the better (nt)

[Cheswick2.0]

3. funny, I don't see any posts in the forum by the people who decided

to make the name and the purpose an issue, except for the posts complaining about the name and the purpose.

[Skinner]

7. Would you like to comment on the proposed name? (nt)

[arwalden]

4. I Think That's A Good Compromise

[mrgorth]

5. My concern

is that such a name would lead to people who are simply "breaking up with their girlfriend" (regardless of sex) showing up and while I don't mean to diminish that pain I can tell you that it can't possibly feel like a marital (or life partner) seperation. I think this should be a forum for dealing specifically with such things. That said, I'm not terribly opposed to Skinner's suggestion and will still be here if it is adopted. I just think we're nitpicking. We tend to do that. If the new name is adopted I think "coping" being in the name is a good thing.

[Skinner]

6. I can understand your concern.

I belive that by keeping the word "Divorce" in the Group name, we make it clear that we are talking about a more serious type of separation than a breakup with some person you've been dating for a few weeks. Also, I think that issue can be addressed in the mission statement of the group.

It is my opinion, and I think everyone agrees, that this group is intended for people who are separating with their life partner.

In fact, maybe we should be calling it something like: "Coping with Divorce or Life-Partner Separation Group". It's wordy, but it makes it even more clear. In fact, I think that might be better.

[mrgorth]

9. Thanks for your help Skinner

I'm fine with either. I just hope we can start concentrating on helping people now. I also hope you never need to come in here for yourself. Peace.

[LWolf]

8. Coping with Divorce or Separation

is a good compromise.

I'm fine with whatever the outcome is.

[Dookus]

10. I think that's a very good name

thank you for acknowledging the problems with the previous name.

[ikojo]

11. I've never been married but my parents divorced when

I was a very young child. Is this group welcoming to adult children of divorce? When my parents divorced it was not at all as common as it is now and as a kid I faced a lot of stigma.

[mrgorth]

12. No problems here.

[Skinner]

13. The deed is done.

I'm locking this thread. Thanks for the input.