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I don't even know how to title this post - I'm in need of some advice I guess

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YankeyMCC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-26-07 08:08 AM
Original message
I don't even know how to title this post - I'm in need of some advice I guess
Yesterday my wife told me she wants a divorce. I'm angry and hurt - hurt like I've never been hurt. I could spend a lot of time writing down how I feel, how the news was broken, why I feel so hurt but I'm sure I couldn't give a clear picture - I can't even truly understand what she told me it seems incomprehensible.

And I have to somehow keep focused on the job I just took a few weeks ago and the certification exam I'm in the middle of studying for. (great timing) so let me see if I can stick to a practical question for right at the moment as my first post here.

I want us to go the mediation route rather than go right to lawyers. I've found a couple of Internet resources and a list of a mediators in our area. I started here: http://www.divorceinfo.com/mediation.htm and have started reading through our State laws and other relevant info from the state.

Does anyone have advice on what I should look for in terms of credentials in choosing a mediator? Other helpful resources?

We do have one child and own a home.

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porphyrian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-27-07 04:49 PM
Response to Original message
1. Man, I'm sorry. I know how that sucks. Unfortunately, I can't help you.
My wife and I had very little to split other than debt (which we divided ourselves), and no kids, so we pretty much just payed to get the paperwork done. Good luck, though, and if I see or think of something, I'll let you know.

Oh, schedule yourself some breakdown time on a regular basis to help keep it from happening at inopportune moments, and consider getting some therapy and/or medication to help you. It does eventually get better, but a shit sandwich is a shit sandwich.
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mrgorth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-28-07 12:47 PM
Response to Original message
2. OK
You are not going to like what I am going to tell you. I am a victim of infidelity and my divorce was final 2 Marches ago. I know about how you are feeling now and we are with you. If your wife has divorced you instead of cheating count yourself lucky. However, she may have. If I were you I would read both books for sale at womeninfidelity.com. The mediation is a nice thought, I wanted to do it too. The fact is that if she gets primary physical custody you will get killed in child support. Get a good lawyer and if you want physical custody, go for it. I regret not doing it.
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