|
Hello,
We have one child, a son who is 11 years old, and we have yet to finalize our settlement. However, my wife has moved out and we agreed verbally (actually I have email with her agreement also) to a custody schedule. We agreed to joint physical and legal custody.
The basic schedule is a 2 week schedule. I wrote in the draft lots of exceptions and room for flexibility, no prohibitions to visits or contact of the other parent during the two weeks (just a request for respect for some level of privacy and time alone with him), and coupled with that we agreed to do everything possible to not only stay in the same town but live close enough for him to move freely between households as he choses as he gets older.
Suddenly she wants to change to a 1 week schedule.
I originally suggested 2 weeks based on research (books and some online) that pointed to the importance of making each household feel like a true home for the child and providing as much stability as possible, also on my own personal experience (although it wasn't due to divorce and I was much older there was a period of time where I moved from week to week between my grandfather's house and my parents and I can tell you I felt like I didn't have a home), and the fact that I travel fairly often.
On the point of travel, I felt a two week schedule would first provide more stability because my travel is often just for a couple of days. So if in the midsts of a 2 week period (or if the start or end of my 2 weeks) I have to be away for a day or two then I would just let it go and thus reduce the number of transitions for my son - and avoid the "Oh I was gone for 2 days so he has to come back here for 2 days to make it all even." kind of pettiness and disruptions for him. Second...well there really is no second, that first point is all it is. If we do a 1 week and I have to be gone for a couple of days then I'm either going to have to be selfish and ask for 'make up time' and disrupt his routine or accept not seeing him often during periods I travel. (To try and clarify my travel schedule again, what it often looks like is that on short notice I could get assigned a project that would mean that over the course of 2 or 3 months I have to fly out to a location for 2 or 3 days every other week or even every week. Sometimes there are stretches where I don't travel at all too.)
What I'd like to ask is if anyone here has recommendations for resources and references that might discuss the pros and cons of the length of rotational periods in joint custody, 1 week vs 2 weeks, for example.
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
