Attorney, Mediation or Do-It-Yourself?

[City of Mills]

Does anyone have any advice or stories to share? I'm preparing to file, so I'm considering my options. Luckily I have a pretty straightforward situation, we've separated physically, financially and emotionally. We talk civilly and still care about each other, and will be able to work through this process together. No kids, no property, no shared debt. We just grew apart. I'm considering a DIY divorce for those reasons. Wondering if anyone has gone this route successfully?

[jojo54]

1. I've seen websites that have the paperwork.

Although I'd check it out with the BBB, just in case. And IMHO, I'd go with a mediator anyway. That way you know it's legal and it's a hell of a lot cheaper than lawyers.

I haven't done this, but when hub had his affair 3 years ago, he looked into it. We've tried making it work since then, but it just isn't happening. This is probably the way we will go, after all. Our kids are grown, but we have property, pensions, stuff like that, to work out.

[porphyrian]

2. That was my situation and what we sort of did.

No kids, nothing but debt to split. She ended up getting a lawyer anyway to handle the paperwork and was nice enough to split that extra expense, but trust had become a rare commodity in our relationship and I just went along with whatever she wanted to get it over with as fast as possible so I could get back to my uncharacteristic daily crying and overwhelming sense of failure (sadly, I've moved on from this comfortable routine). And, while I'm not doing a very good job at selling the DIY divorce, yours is the kind of situation where one can be both successful and economical.

[Shakespeare]

3. With no kids and no shared assets, you can do a DIY. I did.

It doesn't hurt that I'm a litigation paralegal (so the paperwork was really easy for me), but for a simple divorce, it can be extremely straightforward. I think Legalzoom.com is a pretty good resource for the forms and instructions you'll need to do it yourself (Celeb attorney Robert Shapiro founded the company, and the HQ is down the street from my apartment).

I finally filed our petition for summary dissolution last week (took that long to 1. get my ex's signature, and 2. scrape up the money for the filing fee...grrr...all by myself), and had no problems at all doing it. I know your OP is a bit old, but anybody who wants some pointers in this area can feel free to PM me anytime. I can lead you to relevant sites/info for your state, and I can also look over the forms to make sure you have them filled out correctly. No legal advice, as I'm not a member of the bar, but I can at least tell you if the forms look okay.

All the best--these circumstances suck. Even if the split is a good thing (as it was for me), just dealing with the legal end of things is a pain the ass.

[elleng]

4. Nice of you.

I'm a lawyer, not admitted where I live, and have to figure out how best to handle my not-simple situation. Sure is true that representing oneself in this situation = fool for a lawyer! AND client! Hope lawyers I contacted will respond to my query!

[Callalily]

5. Yes, it can be done.

It's all a matter of filing the correct paperwork. My sister-in-law used a mediator and there were kids involved.

The key though is, there can not be any disputes what-so-ever, all distribution(s), etc. must be agreed upon beforehand or a mediator will not even considering assisting you.

Good luck.

[elleng]

6. What would mediator be mediating

if everything's agreed upon already?

[Callalily]

7. Oh sorry, I do not think

mediator is the correct term I should be using. I'm talking about the services that help you "do it yourself". They actually take care of all the necessary paperwork, file with the court, etc. When using their service(s), there can be no disputes.

My apologies for the confusion.

[City of Mills]

8. Update

Well I finally have a donor star so I can update my situation - we did the DIY divorce in March, we messed up one aspect (didn't fill out short financial forms) but did that while we were filing and everything went through, so DIY in my case was a success!