Mr. B@L is in "love" with another woman, at least he thinks so--and he's being honest about it.

[blondeatlast]

I'm dying inside; even if all you can give me is positive vibrations, thoughts, prayers, spells, whatever, I am soooo grateful.

He's spent the last month in Prague, Cz. R, on business. He returned last Thursday and I could sense something was different. I was so happy to see him I could barely restrain myself at the airport. That night, he couldn't deal with sex; we tried, he couldn't. We have never had problems in that department before, fwiw.

Last night he told me. He has to go to Prague soon again in order to finish a project; his employer is arranging for me and my son to join him; we will be there a few years at least.

He says he still loves me and I believe he does--but he can't stop thinking about her. I still love him--I never missed him on his frequent trips until this one and it was awful.

Then to get this bomb in my lap.

I still love him so much and was so looking forward to joining him in Prague; we'd been comparing residences and schools for my son and after initially being upset about the move have become very excited about it.

Ccan someone at least help me cope with the doubt? I believe we can get together (we've weathered a similar storm and came back even better for it, that was a long time ago, too).

I've been telling my friends about the Prague move--now it may not happen and it's humiliating to think of having to explain why. We've always been the couple everyone admired; married 13 years in April, started out as good friends several years before that.

I'm hurting so badly and I can't put up my game face; I've been trying.

[my2sense]

1. I'm sorry to hear about the pain you must be experiencing

I've never been in your situation but it sounds heartbreaking. What your friends think at this point really is not a priority. Figuring out where to go from here in your relationship is what you must focus on. Have you talked with a counselor?

Sending prayers, hugs, thoughts your way.

:hi: :hug:

[blondeatlast]

4. Seeing a counselor on Monday, me privately first, then us as a couple.

As much as I cling to a hope we'll work this out I am thinking of my own future with him there an me here. I want my son to have that extraordinary opportunity to be educated in Europe; we have both pledged not to fight over our son or use him against each other as so many couples seem to do.

I know when Mr. pledges something, he sticks by it, so my son will be just fine--and so will I.

Oddly enough, as things stand now, my husband stands to be hurt the worst in all of this; he may lose both me and her; she's very young (23) and when she realizes what a life with him means (he won't marry her and he can't have kids and wouln't have another if he could) she may let him go for entirely practical reasons.

He has told her those things, too.

[Callalily]

2. So sorry to hear this.

jazzy062 if right about seeing a counselor. It appears you want to make the marriage work. Hopefully your spouse is open to that suggestion. If not, take care of yourself and your son, which are your two main priorities.

Sending hugs. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[blondeatlast]

3. We are seeing one Monday. Trouble is, Mr. must return to Prague

right after the first of the year.

Still hoping for our marriage to survive--but I am thinking about my won future.

Thank you all so much. Just knowing someone cares helps sooo much.

[proud patriot]

5. we just had out 13 year Anniversary on Dec 9th

I don't think I can say anytthing to make it better .

Mine's leaving because he's sick of me wanting help
around the house and I'm "ruining his credit"

He's being a complete ASS.

[knitter4democracy]

6. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

It really hurt when my STBX admitted that he loves his current mistress. Therapy has really helped me. He tried for all of two weeks before going back to her, but I wouldn't use my personal asswipe as a standard of any kind. Yours might really regret it and do his best to get over her and build up your relationship. This happened to one of my best knitting friends--he worked in Mexico, had an affair there, got home and did the hard work to deal with it and keep their marriage together. It's very possible.

[blondeatlast]

7. Thanks for the kindness. He says his love for her is different than

his love for me; ours developed out of a friendship and we waited several years to get married.

He has pledged to take care of our son and me (regarding financial support and medical insurance--I have insulin-dependent diabetes) and has even offered for us to move to Prague still (which may be aq necessity for me to continue medical coverage.

He's a good guy, very responsible, but he's very frank that right now, he wants her more than he does me--yet he still loves me.

Time will tell, I suppose, but I won't wait forever. Love is so wonderful--until something changes it and then it is like a cancer pain in the soul.

I will survive and we will always love each other--and that's why it hurts even more, I think.

I have hope--but things look dim right now, very dim.

[knitter4democracy]

8. Write up everything, and make him sign it.

Just in case he tries to back out when he sees how expensive it all will get or when his mistress talks him into cutting you off (if any of that happens--happening in my case). Write up everything he's offered so far, and make him sign it, preferably with a notary or some witness you can trust to go to court for you. That way, you're protected.

[PassingFair]

9. Knitter, I'm so proud of you.

Such suckage, and you are handling
it SO well!

Blond should definitly take your
advice on these particulars.

Just wanted you to know that someone
thinks you are "Da bomb"!

Hang in there.

-Patty