It is finally official. The Obamas have selected a new puppy. You will remember that Barack Obama promised his children that they would get one when they settled in at the White House. This seems like a wonderful family moment. What could change that?
Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Let’s imagine a scenario.
Setting: The United States Senate.
Senator: Mr. President.
Presiding Officer: For what purpose does the Republican senator seek recognition?
Senator: I ask unanimous consent to proceed with a statement.
Presiding Officer: Without objection Senator Cleghorn is recognized.
Senator Cleghorn: I thank the chair. Mr. President, it is with a heavy heart that I come to the floor today. I have just learned that President Obama has selected a White House pet, a Portuguese water dog. Owners of this breed call them PWDs. It reminds me a bit of WMDs that the Democrat Party was so anxious to blame on President Bush. I have to ask: Couldn’t the President have chosen an
American dog? Don’t we have good dogs here in this country? In these hard economic times, is it too much to ask that the President of the United States buy American?
Senator Bohreegard: Will the Senator yield for a question?
Senator Cleghorn: Well, of course I yield to my good friend and fellow Republican.
Senator Bohreegard: I thank the gentleman. I wonder if the Senator is aware that our Democrat friend from Massachusetts owns
two PWDs? One of the most liberal Senators in all history owns the same breed of dog. Is that why the country has to endure a PWD as a White House pet, I ask the gentleman?
Senator Cleghorn: Well, my good friend Senator Bohreegard asks a question that is on the minds of the American people. Are foreign interests influencing White House decisions? I certainly hope not. Down where I come from, my constituents are very concerned about this. My phones are ringing off the wall. People are asking what color PWD will represent our White House. Will it be black, white, or the combination of the two? Will the President want it to have a foreign-sounding name such as his own? Barack is a perfectly acceptable name, but is it the right type of name for the dog that represents the pets of
all Americans?
I have a bill at the desk that I will be introducing shortly that is a very simple one. It should pass unanimously. It just says that any animal that resides in the White House must be a truly American breed. Further, that any animal that resides in the White House must have been born in America. The American people want this. They insist upon it. Our actions here in this greatest of all deliberative bodies in the world will be observed by the rest of the world. What message will we send about America? Mr. Presiding Officer, I have much more to say. I ask unanimous consent that the rest of my statement be inserted in the record as if read.
Presiding Officer: Without objection, so ordered.
Senator Cleghorn: With that I yield the floor and suggest the absence of a quorum.
Presiding Officer: The clerk will call the roll.
***
Please visit my blog
Southbridge and Beyond