|
I almost had my own version finished. Ah, what the heck, I filled in the rest, and it's not as good as Julie's, but here goes...
The Former Miss Wasilla’s Got a Gun
Ooooo - Everyone was there, it was totally cool Hooooo - I was real excited, I almost got sick Hooooo - 'Cause the governor of Alaska was the new VP pick
She looked so pretty and oh, so classy With her hair in that up-do and those expensive glasses Standing right there next to John McCain She looked like something out of Soul Train (Well, like, maybe a white version--DEFINITELY a white version)
The crowd was cheering, everyone was stoked I mean it was like the whole Republican Convention was totally coked or something Some country singer or other was playing his theme (“We’re all raisin’ McCain”) And all of a sudden somebody screamed
“Look out! The former Miss Wasilla's got a gun!”
(Refrain) Everybody run, the former Miss Wasilla’s got a gun Everybody run, the former Miss Wasilla has got a gun
Sarah's smiling and waving her gun Picking off cheerleader reporters one by one Oh, Brian’s microphone just blew to bits Oh no, Katie’s head just did the splits God, the governor’s on a shooting spree Stop it, Sarah, you're embarrassing me! How could you do what you just did to them? Are your hormones running wild? Are you pregnant AGAIN?!?
(Refrain)
Stop it, Sarah, you're making me swoon! Getting blood stains all over those incredible balloons!
An hour later the cops arrived By then George Stephanopolous had died! (No big loss) You wouldn't believe what they brought to stop her Tear gas, machine guns, even a chopper! “Throw down your gun and come out of the arena!” Sarah didn't listen to what the cop said She aimed and fired, and now Levi Johnston is dead! Oh, it's really sad, but look on the bright side-- Now he won’t have to make Bristol his bride!
(Refrain)
Sarah’s glee is just beyond compare She's gotten into the chopper and she’s shooting from the air!
The cops fired a warning shot that blew her off the chopper I tried to scream “duck” but got decked by a copper She hit the ground and did a flip and let out a moan I was crying so hard I couldn’t work the camera on my cell phone I ran down to Sarah, I had to find out What made her do it, why'd she freak out? I saw the bullet had got her right in the ear I knew then the end was near
So I ran down and I said--in her good ear--“Sarah, why'd you do it?”
She raised her head, smiled, and said, “I--I did it for Johnny!”
Johnny? Well, like, why Johnny? Answer me, Sarah, why Johnny? Is it because Johnny can’t defend himself? Is it because, I mean, Johnny’s plane got shot down, and he was a FREAKIN’ POW? And he was in the HANOI HILTON for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS? Answer me, Sarah, is THAT why Johnny needed you? Oh God, this is like that movie The Manchurian Candidate, you know, where you later find out he was a setup and evil people controlled his mind and everything he said? But we'll never know why Johnny needed her because, like, she’s dead.
Everybody run, the former Miss Wasilla’s got a gun Everybody run, the former Miss Wasilla has got a gun!
|