KOEB 8/16/05: He's Back Again!

[Berry Cool]

"...and now, live, right here on our stage in Secaucus, New Jersey, it's the man who sold more records than the Beatles...well, maybe not...Anyway..."



"Greetings, Olby-cats and Olby-kittens! Welcome back to the Club Olby-Wan, where the only thing smokin' is the SNARK! Sorry, all you 'wacky tobaccy' fans...the new policy at Club Olby-Wan is 'DON'T smoke 'em if you got 'em!' But never fear, I'll have plenty of tips to help you through it.

"So join me tonight for Countdown at Club Olby-Wan, where the only thing hotter than the snark is...well, me!" :blush:

--K.O.

[crispini]

1. Helloooooooooo Keef!

Must try to make the beginning of the show -- I :loveya: the standup shots.

Is this yet ANOTHER new tie?

:hi: ladies! Nice to be here!

[SharonRB]

2. Hi, Crispi

I've seen this one before. Not often, but he has worn it.

[crispini]

5. He should wear a creamier color shirt with this ensemble.

The white's a bit harsh I think.

How are you doing Ms. Sharon?

[SharonRB]

8. I'm doing just fine, Crispi

And I agree. The shirt is too white for the tie. It's the first thing I noticed as soon as I saw him.

Yippee -- Puppet Theatre is back!

[Berry Cool]

56. I was so happy to see the man, I didn't care if he went naked.

Insert your own joke here.

and :hi: from Berry After the Show!

[RevCheesehead]

59. I would.

Care. A great deal. With tongue hanging out. :9

[Berry Cool]

79. Well, I DID say

"insert your own joke here..." :rofl:

[gkhouston]

97. Berry, hon, that wasn't a joke

it was an earnest prayer. Right, Rev?

[RevCheesehead]

110. Well, I'd have to say yes,

since my initial response was "Oh, God!" :evilgrin:

[Berry Cool]

120. And my response if he DID go naked

would be "Thank you, God!

Yeah, I can relate to earnestness...

(of course, HIS response would probably be "God help all of you...)

[crispini]

3. Foreign airlines....

I'll never forget the time I rode Air Vietnam. NOT a good reputation. An old Russian jet. The plane vents INSIDE the plane so on takeoff the passenger cabin fills with fog. Not exactly a confidence inducing experience. :scared:

[SharonRB]

4. How stupid is this...babies being refused boarding

because of the no-fly list!?!?!?

[crispini]

6. Soooooooo CUTE!

Adorable! Woookat the weeny baby terrorist!!!

:wtf:

[gkhouston]

98. what are they going to do, poop on people?

um... remembering some of the diapers after munchkin was weaned... that's actually a pretty serious threat. :puke:

[RevCheesehead]

111. Have you SMELLED those things?

Good lord, I can understand that! :freak:

[gkhouston]

113. of course I've *smelled* those things

do you think my husband changed all the diapers? LOL, I'm not that good a con artist.

[RevCheesehead]

114. You know, baby poop isn't all that bad.

The formula makes it kinda sweet-smelling (in a non-edible way, that is). But good God, once you start feeding them solid food, look out! (you should be impressed that I've noticed this stuff!)

[gkhouston]

115. eeyew formula baby poop is nast-eee

breast-milk baby poop is much milder. But damn, don't feed them baby food spinach or any of the baby food meats.

:rofl:

[Berry Cool]

129. That is the time that Bill Cosby used to describe as

"God puts odor in the poo-poo."

[Berry Cool]

57. You knew he would HAVE to jump on

a story as silly as that.

[Gogi]

96. I flew on China Airlines (CAAC) in 1984.

They had to bring a 747 up to San Francisco from Los Angeles because of a problem with 747 we were to fly on. We were the last plane into Beijing airport and they literally turned all the runway lights off while we were taxiing to the terminal.

[crispini]

7. Yippie! Puppet theatre!

:woohoo:

[SharonRB]

10. LOL

Vulcan mind meld.

[RevCheesehead]

19. You've been getting a lot of these, haven't you?

Hi, Sharon :hi:

[SharonRB]

21. Have I?

Hi, Rev!

[Berry Cool]

58. I was delighted to see

it come back! Happy happy joy joy! :-)

[Botany]

9. Drive by blog .....

Got to keep those babies off them planes.
KO has already dropped a Paris's little doggie snark.

Happy Bay Airs to you all.

Off to the pool .....

BTW

http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2005-08-15-roberts_x.htm

speaking of Roberts ..... it is OK to pay women less then men.
OK i want all repug women senators who vote for him to take a pay
cut.

[SharonRB]

11. Happy swimming, Botany.

Heard you on Stephanie's show again this week. How do you get through all the time?

[Botany]

13. let's just say .......

...... #<*****@#! and that made her happy.

Stephanie :loveya: Miller

It is chapter 6 in Crispini's book. "Cuff Love for Couples."

Get the copy with the diagrams ........ The arm over and under is
tough to understand w/out pics.

:bounce:

[Berry Cool]

62. See, Botany has a thing with Steph.

He underestimates what he's got!

[Botany]

66. What I got are called TRO

Temporary restraining orders.

Just another little way she shows me love.

:rofl:

[Berry Cool]

80. Hey, at least she knows

you exist!

[crispini]

12. Hi Botany! Bye Botany!

Nice to see ya! :hi:

[Berry Cool]

86. Another Roberts comment...

Keith touched on bizarre celebrity juxtapositions (Roberts and MJ being one), but he neglected to mention that newscaster who is Mike Tyson's cousin... :rofl:

[Berry Cool]

60. I am NOT happy with that remark from Roberts.

Hey, Roberts...not ALL women leave the work force or hop back in and out at will...and even if they do, why do they not deserve to be paid as much as men when they are there??

Can you please explain this to me???

[Botany]

76. Because he is a very smart hack ......

..... he is in it for money, power, and fame. His morals a based on
pleasing his masters. Anything to pay workers less is a good thing
according to "their" credo. Hell, he likes pushing the tops off Mts.
in West Virginia and filling up the valleys which in turn kills the
surface and ground water because that is a cheaper way to get the
coal.

BTW funny how he forgot about working Jeb's office during the
theft of the 2000 election.

[Berry Cool]

82. Oh, and thanks, Keith

for making it abundantly clear that you did NOT want to do the news story about "the cruise ship honeymooner who went missing" and that it was a "stories my producers MADE ME DO" story.

:loveya: Keith.

[RevCheesehead]

14. A Popsicle Stick Viking Ship??

Damn, that's straight out of Gull Bay! :loveya:

[crispini]

17. Howdy Rev!

:hi:

[RevCheesehead]

18. Hey, Crispi -

How's the back today? :hi:

[crispini]

34. Better! I only feel 60 instead of 80!

Went to the doctor just in case -- he said I was fine, just take more advil and keep an eye on it -- these things actually take a couple of weeks to show up, apparently.

still haven't smoked! :woohoo:

[RevCheesehead]

36. You da woman.

:thumbsup:

Oh, and you've got to write Keith and tell him how you wanted to smoke, but didn't. :)

[crispini]

43. thanks!

will do!

[SharonRB]

37. Good for you, Crispi!

Keep up the good work.

[crispini]

44. one day at a time! :P

[WolverineDG]

61. ::claps wildly::

congrats crispi!! keep it up!!!

:woohoo:

dg

[Berry Cool]

63. Good for you. crispi!

I hope you listened to Mike Taibbi tonight. I am SO impressed Keith got him on board. When Peter Jennings first died he essentially said "Well, a lot of us smoke and still do." He was kind of defensive about it. I am THRILLED that even he decided to quit. Just goes to show you...it can be tough to get to that place, but now you are there and there's no turning back.

[gkhouston]

99. You go girl!

:applause:

[SharonRB]

20. Hi, Rev!

He's covering the idiot who ran over the crosses, even though it wasn't listed in the newsletter. I knew he wouldn't let that one get past him.

[RevCheesehead]

22. But first, Michael Jackson Supreme Court Puppet Theater.

:7

[SharonRB]

24. I loved KO's Reagan impersonation

[Berry Cool]

67. See, we can trust Keith to get

to the stories that matter.

And the Puppet Theatre that matters too.

"Well...WOO-HOO-HOO!"

He actually does a good Reagan.

[crispini]

15. Ok, I did NOT fill in THAT blank he left....

with "viking popsicle stick ship." :rofl:

[Berry Cool]

68. LOL!!!!!!!

I'm going back to get thee exact quote on that one!!!!

I just about had a cow! It was even better than "And now, back to the sex!"

[Berry Cool]

83. Quoting Keith exactly on his Oddball intro:

"We're back, and it's that time of night where I get to invite you to climb aboard my...

...popsicle-stick...

...Viking ship..."

(said with the most evil of lovably impish grins, natch)

[RevCheesehead]

84. That would be a direct shout-out

to our dearly departed Whirly Girl. :)

[Berry Cool]

87. I think so, and don't forget...

...he even made reference in his Palmeiro blog to a Viking funeral.

Coincidence? I think not.

[RevCheesehead]

88. She was a good one, who went before her time.

To Whirly Girl: :toast:

[Berry Cool]

94. I'll drink to that!

:toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast:

[crispini]

16. Jane's Addiction!

:loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya: for the audio team!

[Berry Cool]

85. Diddy: "I felt the P was getting between me and my fans."

"Welcome to our Diddy. Please note there is no P. We appreciate your helping us keep it that way. Thank you."

[WolverineDG]

121. so the P is silent?

as in swimming???

:freak:

dg

[crispini]

23. John Roberts re: Prince.

Oh, SNAP! :rofl:

[RevCheesehead]

25. Woo-hoo-hoo.

They needed to put Reagan's head on springs for that. :rofl:

[SharonRB]

26. LOL

I knew he was going to ask Dana if his daughter was on the No Fly list!! Ha, ha, ha.

[RevCheesehead]

27. Can Dana look any less amused?

He's living up to his name: Dana :eyes: Milbank

[Berry Cool]

89. But he certainly had the snark on tonight anyway!

When did you ever think you'd hear Milbank making a joke about how "Roberts knew 21 years ago that you shouldn't get in bed with Michael Jackson"? And then the stuffed animals...:rofl: "If we don't find out he's a member of NAMBLA..."

[Berry Cool]

69. Yes, John Roberts was a music critic ahead of his time.

He KNEW Prince was the new MJ, even back in 1984.

[crispini]

28. Dana Milbank illustrates his commentary with stuffed animals!

:rofl:

That suit is a GREAT color on Dana, btw. Very nice.

[Berry Cool]

70. Dana's stuffed animals cracked me up!

Keith was SO not expecting that! :rofl:

[gkhouston]

101. I hope Dana got them home before his kid missed them!

or maybe they're Dana's? :shrug:

[gkhouston]

100. yes, for once he didn't look like an undertaker

usually, when I see Dana I think about the character Finis Blye in Greater Tuna, who always gets the corpses too waxy.

[RevCheesehead]

29. Elizabeth Edwards!

I loooooove that woman! Bless her for speaking in support of Cindy.

[SharonRB]

30. There's a link somewhere on DU to her letter

I think it was in Greatest earlier today.

[Muffstser]

47. How is Elizabeth Edwards doing, healthwise?

I haven't heard anything lately.

[SharonRB]

50. I haven't heard anything either.

I hope she's doing okay.

[Berry Cool]

71. Last thing I heard is that Elizabeth is doing well.

She will send e-mail updates to people who ask. Or so I understand.

[crispini]

31. I wasn't really thrilled with the Joe Trippi clip

it sounded like they'd cut it right before he was going to say "BUT...."

[crispini]

32. I'm now officially bored with Ugly Dog.

Seen it 10 times already, people!!!

[RevCheesehead]

33. Reminds me of the hyenas in the Lion King.

Cheech and Whoopi. :)

[Berry Cool]

72. I hadn't seen it yet, though!

And kudos to the music department for the Cure's "Close to Me"! OK, who's been raiding my iPod Shuffle for music selections??

Loved Elvis pumping gas too! Isn't it bizarre how his death gets celebrated more than his birthday?

[RevCheesehead]

35. OK - that look when he said "gossiping" was too funny!

[RevCheesehead]

38. "You quit when you're ready to quit."

Crispini, thanks for being ready to quit. :hug:

[Berry Cool]

73. I will second that emotion about quitting.

Taibbi should be an inspiration to you. He didn't come to his current place easily, but he is there.

[SharonRB]

39. Just read on Greatest`

that Colleen Rowley is going to go to Crawford later this week.

This just keeps getting better and better.

[RevCheesehead]

40. Forgive my ignorance,

but who is she?

[SharonRB]

45. The FBI whistleblower

She's running for office.

On edit: Here you go.

OAKDALE, Minn. - Former FBI whistleblower Coleen Rowley, along with a state senator whose son died in Iraq, are headed to Texas this week to join a growing anti-war demonstration near President Bush's ranch.

Rowley, now a Democratic candidate for Congress, and Sen. Becky Lourey will join a protest initiated by Cindy Sheehan, whose own son died in Iraq last year. Sheehan started the vigil Aug. 6, coinciding with Bush's summer vacation. She has said she won't leave until the president meets with her. (snip)

Rowley, a former special agent in the FBI's Minneapolis office, gained fame in 2002 for her criticism of FBI leadership. She said officials failed to act on information that cast suspicion on some Sept. 11 hijackers in the months before they carried out their attacks, and was later named one of Time magazine's people of the year for her efforts.

Now challenging incumbent U.S. Rep. John Kline, a Republican, Rowley has emerged as a harsh critic of the war in Iraq. (snip)

[crispini]

41. "did not break her kabbalah" --- SNORK!

[SharonRB]

46. That cracked me up!

[Berry Cool]

75. The man's SNARK hasn't been damaged one iota

by all those years of smoking! :rofl:

[gkhouston]

104. now we don't know that

but in six months, I'm sure he'll have at least 50% of the snark of a nonsmoking Keith. ;-)

[WolverineDG]

64. i was on the floor with

"and the horse she rode in on" :rofl:

you know what the intro to that line is, dontcha? :rofl:

dg

[gkhouston]

105. oh yes, and who better to apply it to than Madonna?

well, there's Paris Hilton, but I've never heard that said about chihuahuas....

[Berry Cool]

74. Hey, what I wanna know is...

when Keith was on this alleged "schedule" of nurse, sleep, nurse, cry, nurse, poop, nurse, nurse, etc...on what was he nursing?!?!!?

I know...the pipe. *HEAVY SIGH*

[Muffstser]

42. Puppet Theatre Tonight! Woo Hoo Hoo!

Oh, I can hardly wait to replay the video and see what I missed!

[RevCheesehead]

48. Hi, Muffs!

Welcome home. :hi:

[Muffstser]

49. Hiya, Revy!

I'm officially home. Muffin ran to the door, purred like mad, and demanded a feeding. Yup, my life is one big glamour gig!!!

[Berry Cool]

90. "Worst Person in the World" was kinda ironic tonight, huh??

I couldn't help but feel that the anonymous fan who insisted on keeping the baseball glove tossed into the stands unless he got lots of swag in return...well, I believe Keith has resembled that remark!

Except Keith wouldn't have let his head be turned by any amount of freebies!! :rofl:

on edit: I'm surprised Keith didn't get a flurry of angry emails during the commercial break complaining that he called Cindy Sheehan "Cathy."

[Muffstser]

93. Ya think?

Every time I read "Peanuts" and remember that Charlie Brown wanted that Joe Slobotnic baseball card, it reminds me of a certain TV anchor. :)

[Muffstser]

51. SCIENCE!!! (Thank you, Thomas Dolby).

MICHAEL MUSTO!! God is smiling on us all.

[RevCheesehead]

55. Is it the TV angle,

or his head really that large?

[Berry Cool]

77. Oh boy, folks, I got the biggest shout-out tonight I have EVER had.

Yowza.

Keith mentioned one of my former employers tonight.

And no, I don't mean McDonald's! :rofl:

[crispini]

52. Michael Musto!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

[RevCheesehead]

53. I feel a sermon coming on.

Do we really need to encourage people to gossip? :eyes:
Not the day-to-day, but the malicious shit that destroys people.

[crispini]

65. Apparently, it's social glue.

I doubt they were talking about the malicious stuff.

[gkhouston]

107. they weren't

if you read the article, it goes into that. And it points out that people who are feeling secure spread positive gossip and people who aren't spread nasty stuff. I've always thought that the gossip often tells you more about the person doing the talking than the person being discussed. Guess my intuition wasn't far off the mark.

[RevCheesehead]

112. That's exactly right.

Listening is such an under-rated skill. I always tell people that God saw fit to give us two ears and one mouth, which means we should listen twice as much as we speak. :)

[gkhouston]

116. So what kind of gossip goes flying around at MSNBC?

any guesses?

[RevCheesehead]

117. They talk about us.

Crispi and the cuffs
Botany and Stephanie
Rumors about what has happened to Sparky
Patsy and the Mattress
Gogi's Great Adventure
Berry and the Frolicking Bay-Airs.

You know, good stuff like that. :)

[gkhouston]

118. Wow.

They must drink a lot of coffee to stay awake, then. (running away...)

on edit: although they probably did have fun with the tie threads. I still don't believe we did that.

[RevCheesehead]

119. I still think it was a big mistake...

in taking the poll to the Lounge.
I mean, really - I've spent time in there, and I know these people. I wouldn't let them pick my nose, let alone a tie. :)

[gkhouston]

122. I thought that was more for amusement value

than to actually get anywhere with making a decision. All water under the bridge now, in any case.

I find it amusing, though -- quite a few of the new ties we've seen on KO in the last several months have been relatives of the ties we discussed and rejected for a variety of reasons (many of them simply because we couldn't find them in the longer length on the internet in the short time span we had to work with). Remember bunny going on and on about wanting to see a sage or mossy green on KO? And what's one of the dominant colors in his favorite striped tie?

[crispini]

124. true,

although for future reference -- he really does seem to prefer the stripes, as far as the patterns go. Remember the parrots? Hee hee hee.

[gkhouston]

125. I do remember the parrots

and I remember arguing against stripes as he had so few stripey ties at the time. Boy, has that changed!

I still like the little men tie. And I still remember the morning I'd gotten so tie-fixated that I found myself checking out the cow tie on the guy at the drive-through at Chick-Fil-A. :rofl:

[crispini]

126. Cow tie!

Perfect for next year! :rofl:

[RevCheesehead]

128. I can't help but agree on that!

maybe cows with little cheese hats on? :7

[Muffstser]

54. I want Michael Musto to adopt me!

This is too freaking funny!

[Berry Cool]

78. Rev, I think Keith got his message across.

That, you know, that kind of personal gossip that ruins reputations, breaks up families, etc., is really maybe not all THAT healthy...

[RevCheesehead]

81. Yeah, for those who wanted to hear it.

I'm more worried about the people who don't need encouragement to be mean. There are a lot of them in this very small city.

Actually, it is percolating in the back of my mind, for future use. O8)

[Berry Cool]

91. Good. Unfortunately, some people don't need any TV encouragement

to gossip, because they'll do it anyway.

What they should remember is this..."What do you think your friends think when you talk about other people? Don't you think they ask themselves 'OK, so what does she tell other people about ME when I'm not around?'"

Might make them at least think twice.

[Muffstser]

92. Gossip v. Gossip

I think it boils down to this. If someone is involuntarily hit with something (divorce, illness, cheating), then it's mean. BUT, if someone voluntarily does something idiotic (i.e., makes a sex tape, trades in their dog for a smaller model, says they've never read a book in their life), then that's fair game, because THEY did their stupid act voluntarily.

At least that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

[Berry Cool]

95. Makes sense.

Too bad some people have a different sense of what is "idiotic" and will come up with anything bad to say about you that they can think of--true or no--especially if they want to ruin you.

I think we can all have healthy fun at the Dumb Things Celebrities Do. I mean, Paris Hilton dumping her dog because it got too big...that's not only stupid, it's insensitive and cruel. Shows that she only ever thought of it as an accessory, something to carry to complete her "look." She didn't see it as a living creature. She never expected her "accessory" to become "outsized" and therefore no longer fashionable in her eyes. Sheesh.

[Muffstser]

102. The Paris thing has me fuming!

Granted, Michael Musto's snarky take on it had me howling. But in all seriousness, animals are NOT fashion accessories. That would be like me coming home to my cat and saying, "yo, Muffster! See that little pooch thing you have is dragging on the carpet. I'm trading you in for a new 2005 Calico with a four inch tail and microchips." She wouldn't trade me in if I gained a few pounds! (Or, maybe she would. Let's hope not.)

[Gogi]

106. Consideration for other living creatures is not...

something I'd ever associate with Paris Hilton.

[gkhouston]

109. another important point

we don't know Paris Hilton personally. Well, I'm assuming none of us do, and it's extremely unlikely that more than one of us does. We could gossip about her until the cows come home and our catty remarks are unlikely to cause her harm. Hell, she'll probably never even see 'em.

But if all of us worked in the same office and we gossiped about a coworker in that way, we could hurt her feelings, damage her relationships with others, and possibly cost her her job. Big difference.

[Berry Cool]

130. True dat, gk.

What we have to say about Paris HIlton isn't going to do jack to hurt her any. But what we say maliciously about the person in the next cubicle could well ruin her life.

[WolverineDG]

123. Rev, in your gossip sermon

please point out that it was the almost insatiable need for gossip that lead to princess diana being chased at high speeds by paparazzi w/super-bright flash cameras through paris & contributed to her death (although a drunk driver didn't help the situation at all). it was a disaster waiting to happen & it did. since then, i've not paid much attention to the gossip rags.

dg

[Gogi]

103. Heigh-yo! I'm here!

Laaate but here. My cat's happy because I gave him canned catfood and I'm happy because KO is back.



:loveya: KO, hope you weren't out sick!

[Gogi]

108. Made a point of looking at the cockpit doors on the planes we flew to

NYC, solid metal locked doors with a peephole so the pilots could look out into the passenger cabin. Heaven help the passengers if the pilots are incapacitated! No heroic pilot flying as a passenger saving the plane as in all those movies.

[Patsy Stone]

127. Should have been by yesterday, because

I'm late to this party. I watched but didn't post. I missed the chance to tell KO, leave Florida alone unless it's a stupid human. We don't need any plane crashes. Pick on Iowa!

<snip>

OLBERMANN: Are safety standards, especially putting planes back up that have had problems of some kind previously, are they lower internationally, or could these two things have happened just as easily in Kansas and Florida?

<snip>