My mom just died.

[RevCheesehead]

I got a call around 4:30 this morning. She died in her sleep. We had no idea this was coming. From the best we can tell right now, she died of heart failure. No respiratory distress, thank God.

I've just packed up, and am ready to drive down and be with Dad. I'll check back later.

I love you all - thank you for being my friends.

Ruth

[merh]

1. (((hugs))))

:hug: :loveya:

((((((MotherRev))))))

[Muffstser]

2. Oh, Rev, I'm so sorry.

May she rest in peace, among the angels.

Rest assured, you'll be in my prayers tonight.

Lots of love, Wendy

[WolverineDG]

3. OMG Rev

I'm so sorry! :hug: :loveya:


dg

[Botany]

4. Blessings and prayers

I am so sorry for your loss. A mother's love lasts a lifetime and then some
and that love will help you now. You are my Fav.

[Clark2008]

46. OK - that's just a darling picture.

Those are black bears, aren't they?

I used to pick those cubbies up as a little tot and the Mama's never mauled me. I think they knew I just loved those little cubbies and wouldn't a bit more harm me than I would ever harm their cubbies.

[merh]

5. I just talked with Ruth

She just made it to Whitewater and is with her dad. Her brother will probably arrive late tonight, early in the morning.

She thanks everyone for their support and their love.

[gkhouston]

7. thanks for the update, merh. n/t

[gkhouston]

6. oh, Ruth.

:hug: :hug: There isn't anything else I can say, just lots of :hug:

[SharonRB]

8. I'm so sorry for your loss, Rev

My thoughts are with you and your dad.

:hug:

[bleever]

9. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[CC]

10. I am so sorry Rev,

will keep you and your family in my prayers. I know with your job you know all the things they tell you to do to help make it through, remember it all goes for you too. Also remember the care giver needs care also. Big hugs and always a shoulder here for you to lean on.

[Patsy Stone]

11. Oh, Ruth.

So sorry to hear of your loss. Many hugs and for you and your family. You will all be in my thoughts. Even though it seems hard now, try and take comfort and feel blessed in the fact that she loved you and that her love will never leave you.

:hug:

[DemReadingDU]

12. I am so sorry about your mom

I know from occasionally reading here that she had not been well. I am keeping you and your family in my prayers during this sad time.

[RevCheesehead]

13. Hi, everyone.

I made it here to Whitewater in record time. I have learned that at 88 mph, my car will not jump into time travel, but it does shimmy and shake a little bit.

Dad is pretty broken up. Hell, so is the rest of this place. Mom was so loved by everyone - she's the kind of person that when you meet her, she's an instant friend. I'm astonished at the number of lives she's touched, even in the 2-1/2 years they lived here.

My brother is on his way from Harrisburg, and will get here around midnight. His wife & kids will fly out later for the funeral.

Mom looks so incredibly peaceful. It's comforting, knowing that she died in her sleep. I doubt that she even woke up. Thankfully, she did not suffer. That is an amazing blessing.

We're still in the planning stage, but it looks like we'll have a memorial service here at Fairhaven (their Sr. Residence) tomorrow afternoon. There's a 48-hour hold on cremation (state law), but we'll probably have the church funeral on Friday, and committal at the cemetery in Fort Atkinson. It's home, in so many ways.

Thank you for your outpouring of love and support. Merh has my phone numbers, and I'm trying to keep her updated on what's going on.

Obviously, I'll probably miss our Anniversary Party, but know I am with you in spirit - as I know you are with me, as well. My dear, dear friends, I love you with all my heart, and thank you most sincerely.

Ruth

Mom and Dad, shortly after their move here:

[gkhouston]

14. aw, now that's a nice picture

I bet your friends liked hanging out at your place when you were growing up. Your parents look like they could make people feel right at home. (But purple furniture? Tell me it's not hereditary... tell me you're adopted... or we might have to rescind your tie-voting rights :P)

:hug:

[RevCheesehead]

15. Bad colorization.

It's a maroon/mauve color. I have NO idea why it's purple in the photo!

Ya know what? This grieving is hard work.
I finally got Dad to lie down, then someone comes to the door. Now I hope we can get some rest around here.

[gkhouston]

16. Grieving is *very* hard work.

Well-meaning people will wear you down to a nub. If you can deputize a friendly neighbor who's not so emotionally involved in what's going on and utilize them as something of a buffer state to fend off some of the well-wishers when you've had enough, then do it and don't feel guilty. Your Dad needs some respite and so do you, and sometimes public mourning is as much of a gauntlet as it is a release.

[WolverineDG]

18. A smile for Rev

(I hope; we got a kick out of it when it happened.)

When my mom died 20 years ago, it was in the early morning hours. By 10, somehow one of my mom's best friends was over at the house with her husband sitting with my dad who was really shaken up. About 11, Dennis goes to get lunch & comes back with Kentucky Fried Chicken. As the calls go out & people across town hear, more & more people show up. Bringing food. Mostly chicken. By 2, we had a wide variety of food available that would have pleased everyone, provided they liked chicken. We had Kentucky Fried Chicken, Church's chicken, Luby's chicken, HEB chicken, chicken salad, chicken sandwiches, BBQ chicken, fried chicken, baked chicken, hell everything but LIVE chicken. And I swear to this day, someone brought egg salad sandwiches as a joke. Later that afternoon, my dad tells me that my older brother is coming down from San Antonio & he & his wife are bringing something to eat. I said "Oh good, something besides chicken" because by that time, I was rather sick of chicken.

Finally, my brother & his wife show up, proudly carring in the food they had brought all the way from San Antonio with them. And wouldn't you know--it was the only kind of chicken you couldn't get in the Valley at that time, Popeyes. :crazy:

It was quite a while before (a) the laughter died down & (b) I was able to eat chicken with a straight face again.

:hug: for Rev & Dad (& save some for your brother when he shows up)

dg

[gkhouston]

29. LOL, when my dad's father died it was all homemade food

but about 15 different versions of chicken and dumplings. :7

[CC]

19. Something that worked well for

us when Beau was killed, after about two days of visitors and calls at all hours we put a sign on the front door around 9 pm that said we were exhausted and went to bed, please come by tomorrow. We also turned the phone to go straight to the answering machine and turned it all the way down. We may not of really gone to bed but we did need down time and time to just grieve without worrying about others. After day two of it people figured it out and made sure the come or call before 9 and give Ter and I some time alone and no one had hurt feelings about it that I know of. It didn't really help us keep our sanity but then doubt anything would of. People want to help so much they forget that you need some quiet time too.

[merh]

20. Hey, I love that photo.

(((hugs)))

Just take care of yourself. We are here when you need us.

:loveya: :hug: :loveya:

[Call Me Wesley]

21. Another candle lit.

Your family is still in our prayers. Soha. :hug:

[SeattleGirl]

25. Bless the hearts of you and your family, Ruth

I am glad you mother went peacefully. And thank you so much for sharing this picture of them with us. All my love to you, my friend. :hug:

[bunny planet]

36. I hadn't read the whole thread after the last post. I left.

Your parents look so sweet and happy together in this picture. Ruth, my heart goes out to you in your loss, so sudden, such a loss. All of my love and sympathies to you and your family.
Lori

[Janice325]

17. Rev, I am so very sorry for your loss.

Sending lots of hugs and positive thoughts your way.
Take care.

[Gogi]

22. I'm sorry, Rev.

:grouphug:

[ralps]

23. Hi RevCheesehead, I'm really sorry to read that. Give you Dad & Family

lots of hugs from me. :hi: :loveya: :hug: :pals: :cry: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Berry Cool]

24. oh, Ruth.

My heart is with you. You know that. My prayers are with you. You know that too.

Please take people's advice and take care of yourself. Do not be surprised at all if your life right now feels very surreal and like someone else's. It IS someone else's. Becoming used to being that person will take time.

Can't give you enough hugs right now.

[seito]

26. I am so sorry for your loss

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. :hug:

[Greylyn58]

27. I am so sorry for your loss Rev

I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. :hug:

[Olney Blue]

28. Oh, Rev, I'm so sorry.

:hug:

[crispini]

30. Oh, Rev.

I'm so sorry. Hugs and love to you and your family. :hug: :love::hug: :love::hug: :love:

[Catchawave]

31. So sorry sweetie.....

:hug: :loveya: :hug:

[Wetzelbill]

32. oh wow, I'm sorry for your loss.

Hey you know I love you right? You, your mom and all your friends and family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[bettyellen]

33. i'm so sorry to hear this...

aw, cheese.:hug:
i'm glad she went peacefully, i know that will be a bit of a comfort to you. i am so sorry, i know it's not esy doing without a mom.
:hug:

[bunny planet]

34. Oh, I just came on and saw this.

I'm so sorry. What a shock for your family and for your Dad. My love and sympathy go out to you.
I still remember losing my Dad like it was yesterday. Take care of yourself and check back with us soon to let us know how you are.
Love,
Lori

[RevCheesehead]

35. Here's my latest update, posted in the Lounge.

Forgive me for being too tired to post it twice.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4862220

[Sydnie]

37. I am so very very sorry to hear this news Rev

You and yours are in my thoughts. I know how hard this has to be for you.

Love yah Rev. That's all I can say.

:hug:

[ewagner]

38. Oh Rev, I'm so sorry

:hug: :loveya:

You have had to provide words of comfort to so many other families at a time like this, so many times and now, I am struggling to find the words to comfort you that won't sound trite or cliche'd.

I can only suspect that you will turn to your personal faith for strength and comfort.

I hope you will also find comfort in knowing that you have many friends who wish they could be with you giving hugs and kisses and a shoulder to cry on.

We love you Rev. :loveya:

e

[spooky3]

39. I'm very sorry to hear this. Please know how many people

here will be keeping you in their thoughts.

[Clark2008]

40. I'm so sorry, dear sweet Rev.

:hug:

I have no words that can comfort you other than to say that we're here for you if you need us.

[RevCheesehead]

41. Thanks, everyone.

We just got back from the funeral. All went well, and the service was beautiful. My brother did an amazing eulogy that I'm still in awe of... and there were so many people there! It was pouring rain outside, and it even HAILED when we got in the car to go to the cemetery... but it all cleared up when we got there. I was able to do the main part of the committal service, with a few tears, but also with conviction and lots and lots of love.

It's been a long day, and we're tired. But I come here to DU, and find all these words of comfort and love. You are an amazing group of people. We simply must have our own meet-up again soon, so I can give each one of you a :hug: in person. Your thoughts, prayers, love and expressions of sympathy have made this difficult time more bearable than I ever could have imagined possible.

I love you all. :grouphug:
Ruth

[Botany]

42. Did I ever tell you that you are my Fav?

Glad to hear from you again Rev.

Psst, you can tell me that I am your Fav ...... i promise not to tell anybody.



Door County, WS

[Berry Cool]

43. Good to hear from you.

Please check in regularly...we'll be checking in on you!

[WolverineDG]

44. Glad to hear from you!

I'm sorry this has been such a bad week for you, Rev, but it sounds like the services for your mom were beautiful. :hug:

And as for a meet-up, a several of us & many other DUers are going to be in NYC in April.
:evilgrin: Care to join us? Sharon, my friend, & I have room for one more in our room. :)

dg

[Clark2008]

45. We love you, too!

Thank you for answering and for thinking of us in comfort.

:grouphug:

[SharonRB]

47. Hi, Rev

I hope you and your family are doing okay and am glad to hear the funeral went well.

My thoughts are with you.

[Catherine Vincent]

48. Just saw this message, sorry to hear about your mom.

:hug: