Alienation, etc.

[lightningandsnow]

I was raised in a very strongly Jewish household - moderately religious (at least when I was younger), very strongly culturally involved. I live in a city with a very large and yet tight knit Jewish community, and yet I feel as if I've never actually been part of it.

I must admit, I don't really believe in the Jewish religion per se. I mean, I'm not even a monotheist, Spiritually, I'm into Celtic Paganism, and a little bit of Buddhism.

Also, I feel kind of alienated by the community. I went to a very religious Hebrew school (because it was only a few blocks from my house), where I was basically told that everything I believed was wrong. When I cam out as queer, I even felt more alienated, because in the circles my family hangs out with, marrying and having a nice Jewish family is everything.

I guess I've found a community now, but it's not the Jewish one... I know a great community of queer/feminist activists, but I still feel like I left something behind.

Anyone else experienced this?

(And please, nobody flame me for this. It was really hard to write)

[Debbi801]

1. I went from a Chassidic upbringing....

to a Reform congregation as an adult and feel much more welcomed and at home.

For me, growing up, it was odd. My parents believed very little of our religion, and actually started going to a UU church when I was a teen. They had the notion that it was Chassidism or nothing. I attended an Orthodox girls school through elementary school, we kept kosher (my grandfather and uncle owned a kosher butcher shop), etc. When I started attending a Reform congregation, they looked at me like I had grown a second head and they questioned my faith. To them, I might as well turn my back on Judaism like they did.

But, I feel welcomed there. My kids are welcomed there. My Pagan husband who doesn't believe in organized religion is welcomed there. The rituals, customs, and expectations are beautiful to me and help me find inner peace. I have found I don't have to cover myself from head to toe in modest dress and sit separate from my husband at services to participate in my religion. And I like that, it works for me. It did take a period of adjustment, though.

Maybe you can check out other congregations in your city. If it has a large Jewish population, there are bound to be Conservative, Reform, or maybe even Reconstructionalist congregations there for you to visit.

I hope you find what you're looking for. :hug:
Debbi