The freaking pain--a rant about fibro and everything else

[hyphenate]

I started physical therapy this week for a "new" condition, trochanteric bursitis, which appears to be not related to the chronic fatigue and fibro. Simple stretching exercises to help stretch out the muscles, and help increase some flexibility. Today, as a result of that and of the walk to and from the facility and the bus stop, I woke up in agony this morning. I did go out--needed to get a new prescription filled, and to find out about my insulin, but surprise--after only two hours out, I was unable to walk any further without constant pain and complete exhaustion.

All I want to know--will this ever go the hell away, or am I from now on stuck in a flare-up and without any kind of optimism for a future time when I will be pain-free or have even a modicum of energy?

I hate it. The house is a complete disaster--just picture one of those invalids who seems to be OCD because they can't do anything to clean, and I have nothing but apathy for getting anything done. I keep thinking if I bend down to pick something up, it's going to be impossible to get back up. This last is not an overreaction--last week, my office chair felt apart with me in it, and I ended up on the floor, unable to get up for a good ten minutes because I was so weak I couldn't do it. I laughed afterward because of that stupid old commercial--the one about "I've fallen and I can't get up!" One of these days, though, I'm probably not going to be laughing when it happens again!

I'm only 50! I should be in the prime of my life instead of being so tired and so in pain that just the thought of going out and doing anything makes me uncomfortable. I used to be able to go out for upwards of 6 hours, walking to different places at the plaza, from one end to the other; now, two hours put me into complete agony and I must take a cab home in order to survive.

Anyhow, gonna go now as I'm already sleepy, even though I took a 2 hour "nap" from 3-5 this afternoon, and will likely be up at about 4, then back to bed until 9, and another day repeats itself with endless similarity and little change.

I really wish this particular carousel stops so I can get off and find a way to revitalize myself and my life, because life is just not worth it if I can't do anything anymore. I won't give up yet, but believe me, the thought gets louder all the time.

[REP]

1. Has Your Gait Been Checked?

Trochanteric bursitis can be caused from overuse (such as walking a lot) or "walking funny" - that is, a bad gait. Sometimes orthotics, a cane or some other remedy can fix the problem that led to the bursitis in the first place. It can also just appear for no reason at all.

Also, ask about getting a steroid shot in the affected joint. PT can't hurt, of course, but it is of limited usefulness; most orthos think cortisone injections are the way to go on this one.

[hyphenate]

5. My gait seems to be part of the problem

to an extent--I have a lot of back pain and knee pain, so I do limp a little already, mostly after I've walked a while.

I had the choice of PT or a cortisone shot--I chose, for now, the PT. I've had cortisone shots in the past, and I am slightly allergic to them--when I've been injected in spots, they are inflamed and swollen from the cortisone itself. So I try to avoid them unless it's excruciating pain.

It's the same with painkillers--they make me nauseous, so I try to deal without them for the most part--Tylenol with Codeine is the only one I've been able to take, and unless I take it just before bed, even that makes me ill. :shrug: So I tend to be in pain more than I would if I could take something for it.

[REP]

6. Have Your PT Work On Your Walk!

Using a cane doesn't suck as bad as it sounds. I'm 41, and sometimes I use one; I have a pretty cool one (which helps keep me from forgetting it) and a standard not-too-ugly metal one. After the first few days of thinking "Crap, I'm using a cane and EVERYONE'S LOOKING" I noticed that 1) nobody cared and 2) my hip wasn't killing me. Of course, all you may need is a shoe insert, or even different shoes (wedge heels, anyone? yes, please!) but especially if you can't tolerate cortisone or painkillers, getting your gait attended to may be the ticket! Good luck!

[mopinko]

2. are you taking anything?

are you getting good, competent and informed medical care?
the right meds changed my life. i am still battling the fatigue, but the pain is way way down, and i am able to exercise, do yoga, ride my bike, and at least feel alive.
:hugs:

[ChickMagic]

3. I'm kind of in the same boat

I can't clean without setting off agonizing pain. We live
like freaking pigs - it looks like one of those awful
places you see on TV. Pure squalor. I try. I really do.
My doc has described my fibro as "world class". He's
now decided that I should be tested for MS. My life
was saved 20 years ago from stage IV ovarian cancer,
but lately I've been wondering if it was worth it.
The quality of my life is degrading at an alarming
pace. I'm becoming despondent over it.

You're not alone. I just wish there was SOMETHING
that could help!

[mopinko]

4. messy house = isolation

is how it worked on me. can you say vicious cycle?