deciding to be my own damn doctor...

[melnjones]

I'm about sick to death of the fibro, IBS, and low immunity crap, so I'm going on a freaking health kick. Bought a juicer and am using it everyday, experimenting a little bit with fasting, doing an herbal detox (I really like this one...tried others before that ripped apart my digestive track), going to as much organic food as I can afford, walking everyday, decided not to use any medicine (other than my beloved prozac) unless I'm like dying, just going to try the all natural route b/c nothing else the doctors have done has worked. Only my chiro/acupuncturist has been helpful. The only catch- I have a history of anorexia along with my depression, so the eating stuff is going to be tricky. I can't let myself get obsessive about it. Ugh. Especially with the fasting...I'd love to try like a 10 day juice fast, but mentally that might not be such a good idea. So far I think I've started a bit of a healing crisis...my left arm and leg (I have problems with that whole side) throbbed uncontrolably for a couple days, but are starting to get better. Had a horrible headache along with it. Good news, though, is the PMDD is amazingly not too bad, after only like 4 days of trying the heathy crap. I haven't even taken asprin for the pain and I've been mostly functional. I'm hoping that this is the start of some relief. I just got through a rough semester, my lowest grades ever (not horrible but still frustrating), and my health was a big part of that, so I've got to make my health a priority and lord knows no doctor gives a shit, meds don't really help (besides the prozac) and are probably just destroying my liver, and I'm 25 and don't want to be twice as bad when I'm 30!!!

Sorry, guess I needed to vent. And need someone to cheer me on, b/c the people around me mostly don't get it.

[Lurking Dem]

1. Maybe it would help

to plan your meals and snacks in advance and view it in the same terms as taking your Prozac?

"It's noon and today is an organic veggie sandwich on whole wheat bread and a smoothie". Check.

You'll have to try and avoid the rut of using your lifestyle diet as a crutch to avoid eating in public situations - parties, etc. When I was a dancer (back in the day) a lot of the girls would claim they couldn't eat xyz because they were vegetarians but it was really just an excuse to not eat at all.

[siligut]

2. Good advice.

Solid and concrete advice, plan meals and stick to your plan. Nutrition is so important, going organic may be vital as well, see my last post to nashville-bro under the "med for DM type 11" post.

May I add, some meds need to be tapered, like prednisone, anti-depressants, BP meds, western medicine is strong stuff, be careful and just be safe. Go slow. Good luck, I am on a cleanse as well!

[melnjones]

4. Don't worry,

That's the only med I'm on other than a teeny tiny dose of flexeril prn...I only take a fourth of my prescribed dosage anyway b/c I'm so sensitive to anything that makes me tired, so even if I take just a half a pill at night I can't wake up the next morning. Blah.

As for planning my meals, the planning part is the bulk of the problem b/c that's where I get obsessive. It's hard to explain, but very problematic...when I was in treatment my food restricting turned into having to eat EXACTLY what was on my meal plan, not a calorie more (even if I was hungry), or else I'd freak out even more. Not very functional. So, I have to be creative in how I'm going to do this. Also, if you starve your body for a long time, which I did, then even after you are well into recovery it's not unusual for your body to just kinda freak out if you get too hungry. You revert immediately back to starvation mode, both physically and mentally, because your body panics. Again, hard to explain, but really tricky to deal with. My super high metabolism and tendency toward low blood sugar doesn't help a bit either. It's just frustrating knowing that my body would probably really benefit from a several day juice fast, but knowing that mentally it might well be impossible.

[melnjones]

3. Thanks for the advice...

The problem isn't so much that I won't eat at all as it is becoming too legalistic about my diet- obsessive. That's what's so frustrating- planning out my meals can then become part of the problem. Grrr... When I was in treatment I finally had to just throw out my meal plan from my nutritionist (with her OK, of course) because I would get so fricken obsessive about following it EXACTLY and not messing it up that THAT was keeping me from functioning. It's so dumb, and kinda hard to explain. The good thing is that I'm really in a great place in my recovery (and have been for quite awhile now) so I recognize these potential problems early on and can be proactive about dealing with them. It's just one more thing to chalk up to the "why can't I just fricken be normal" category :-)

[LynzM]

5. Good luck to you!

My only suggestion would be to make sure you get yogurt w/live cultures (or at least an L. Acidophilus supplement) into your diet regularly - it does great things for your intestines :) Good luck with that all. I have mild anorexic tendencies, and I'm diabetic, so I hear you a lot on trying to not let the food obsession take over your life! :hug: