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I've been getting rather ticked off lately about something that has always been an issue for me: whether or not some medical knowledge needs to be part of a patient's stake in his/her own health and welfare.
For example: I have always taken an active role in my own health. Whether that means researching conditions, medications, diseases or clinical trials, etc., shouldn't matter--simply being informed about things means you are not just being a passive object in the doctor's exam room, and are a partner in looking after yourself.
I have been told off by two people over the course of the past month on this viewpoint. One of my therapists said I shouldn't be second-guessing the doctor because they went to medical school, and I didn't. So their knowledge on medical matters is that much greater than my own, and I need to listen to the docs. The other is my SIL, someone I love, but don't particularly like. She has spent the past four years fighting rectal cancer, and has had two sessions of chemo, and one of radiation, but the cancer is still there, and is, for the moment, inoperable.
The problem with SIL is my eternal frustration that she thinks she knows more than I do about my own health! For instance, a standard argument with her is that I am taking too many pills. And I try to reply to her that she doesn't know the fuck what she is talking about. My doctors and I have discussed what medications I take, and I am well informed exactly what I take, why, and how much. Another argument is that I "need to exercise more" and I need to eat a diabetic diet. Well, SIL doesn't understand that exercising isn't an issue as far as her considering me a lazy good for nothing sloth, but as anyone with CFIDS, Fibro or any one of a dozen other illnesses understands, there is only so much energy and stamina I have in a day, and I get so tired and fatigued that it sometimes just isn't worth it. In addition, when I am out, I have absolutely no balance anymore, and need a cane. And while I do try to walk as much as possible, there are just times when I want to fall and stay down, just to keep from walking any further.
SIL also doesn't understand that there is no longer a "diabetic" diet. Yes, there is a healthy way of eating, and perhaps I don't always give a crap, but that is my concern, not hers. And she isn't advising me as much as trying to tell me that she knows better than I do.
In addition, she is an addict to the worst--and I do mean worst--holistic scams in the world, and thinks that her way is the right way, no matter how ludicrous the schemes. Canokie pads? Ozone tent? Alkaline pH? Mmmm....no. Perhaps there is truth in herbal remedies in the past, but I have a hard time believing that some of these things are even legitimate. Even there, heart patients know they can't take Ma huang because it speeds up your heart too much, those taking St. John's Wort must be aware that mixing it with anti-depressants is not necessarily a good things, and let's face it--some things are just too good to be true. And the money she puts into these things is ridiculous! And yet she cries poor mouth every month, even though my bro is making good money.
And then there is the tale of two nephews....Billy, the older, is a party animal. He blows money like crazy and is always trying to come up with get-rich-quick schemes. His brother, Ryan, is more introverted, and has a sharp mind. Of course, to my SIL, Billy is a liar and a scoundrel, and Ryan is an angel. If Billy is an alcoholic, it's not something he needs to feel shame for--it's an illness, and it has been proven to be, in a large part, inherited. Considering how many alcoholics are in both our family and my SIL's family, it could easily be seen as something Billy has no real control over. I even told her the other night that she needs to tell Billy that she loves him and that she needs to tell him that the family will support him if he chooses to seek help. But she railed against me, and hung up. And yet, she herself won't admit that she drinks too much as well.
Anyhow, she also breaks down and cries at the drop of a hat, and won't listen to me what I tell her she needs to see a psychiatrist. It's understandable that her cancer might be depressing her, but she thinks, like way too many people in our world, that going to a psychiatrist is like telling the world you're a mental "defective." And that's not my view, either. I know most of us need guidance somewhere along the line, and that's normal. Instead of going on an anti-depressant, she takes Xanax instead, as if to say "I'm well, just anxious." And I do hope she doesn't take her Xanax when she's drinking her third glass of wine.
I just wanted to vent. I've been steaming under the surface for awhile. I understand when some people have to crush others in order to feel good about themselves, but it has gotten on my nerves more lately, and how she acts like such a snob about her family, and her family was/is even more dysfunctional than mine was! Like I explain about my feelings on members of the "religious wrong"--you can believe in anything you want to--the easter bunny, the earth being flat, or even creationism, just as long as you don't force me to see it your way by enacting unlawful legislation. I shouldn't have to bite my tongue around my SIL because I don't want to hurt her feelings--trust me, she hurts mine all the time, and I keep my mouth shut for the most part.
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