Hi

[tiddlywinks]

I am a new member of DU but I've hung out on the boards for years cuz i have a very dear, very close friend who introduced me to DU.
I hope this is an appropriate place to post this. Today, my neighbor commited suicide. I have been sick with flu and took a sick day to come home and take some powerful medications. Then, this afternoon, the older lady from across the street phoned me to tell me. This man was jovial and sociable. He worked all the time. I really didn't involve myself with them too much--I work like all the time. But he mowed my lawn for me and was such a trooper. He was always pleasant and spoke to me or said somthing about my dog. I'm not clear on the details but he was found at a remote site away from the home. It just sounds suspicious to me! He leaves behind a wife, who also worked all the time, and some step-kids.

I haven't been able to sleep. I just moved in this house in August. I have to go to work in two hours. I just need a place to tell this story. I just hate this. it sucks.

I have no idea what really happened; it's just I don't believe he would've done that! I don't!
I'm going to give my condolences very briefly this weekend. I guess I'll say I'm really sorry to hear about ****. I don't know what else to say. I'm not Christian and I don't know what they are. And then, I guess I'll just try to leave quietly.
What do you say to the bereaved in this situation?

[auntAgonist]

1. Hi tiddlywinks.

I'm no expert when it comes to dealing with the families who have lost loved ones this way. I do know though from working in the funeral industry, just quietly being there to listen, hug and genuinely care for the bereaved is probably one of the most precious and appreciated things you can do.

I am really sorry for your loss. This gentleman sounds like he would have been a good friend or acquaintance over the years.

I'm glad you came here to this group to share your story. I hope you're able to get some rest soon. I hope others weigh in on their experiences to help you along this journey.

In the mean time tiddlywinks, know that you are in my thoughts as is the family left behind to grieve.

:hug:
aA
kesha

[easttexaslefty]

2. Hi,

I would suggest giving them your condolences and listening to them if they wish to talk. Follow-up in the weeks to come,keeping in touch and available to talk if they wish. Some meals would be nice.
My son suicided 1 year, one month and 20 days ago. It also seems unfathomable that he could have done this. You never know what emotional pain someone may be in.
My heart goes out to this family

[auntAgonist]

3. hey Marie!

I had hoped you'd weigh in here. :hug: I think of you often and wonder just how you're doing.
I think a good listener and a hot cuppa tea or coffee is usually quite welcome in the home of the bereaved.

:loveya:

take care of you.

kesha

[livetohike]

4. Just being at the wake is support....

You can say what you just told us...that you are sorry for their loss and that you appreciated the help he gave you by cutting your grass etc.

Even if you just pick up some take out food and take it over to your neighbor's in the next few days, that gesture will be greatly appreciated.