I just buried my lifelong best friend of nearly 30 years, need some help

[liberalhistorian]

I just returned from my homestate, having traveled there for the wake and services for my nearly lifelong best friend. Basically, after having fought cancer for six years and WON, and after having enjoyed several years of renewed life and health, she was killed by gross medical negligence/malpractice and breach of care. It occured last year and she suffered horribly for a year, being hospitalized for months at a time (I can't go into the details for legal reasons, as legal action is currently, and rightfully, being taken against those responsible).

The numbness is beginning to wear off, and the anger, disbelief, grief and depression are unbelievable. She was always my best friend, my biggest champion, my greatest source of support no matter what happened in my life or what she may have personally thought, and I did the same for her. I'm close with her family (she had no husband or kids, but close immediate family), and will continue to be so, but it just isn't the same. I'm so angry that a gross and careless error that then went uncorrected for too long is what killed her, and I can't believe how much this loss hurts. It's much worse than when my stepbrother died 21 years ago this month. What do I need to do to start dealing with this?

[livetohike]

1. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your best friend liberalhistorian

:hug: I hope you will take comfort from all the good memories you have of your friend's life and it will push away the thoughts of her suffering and her last days.

Remember the stages of grief (and everyone goes through them on their own time):

1)denial
2)anger
3)bargaining
4)depression
5)acceptance

There are so many great people posting on this forum. Please check in when you can :hug:.

[auntAgonist]

2. What a sad situation ..

I'm so sorry for her pain and suffering and your loss. A tragedy.

I hope your wonderful memories of your dearest friend will somehow bring comfort to you.

You have every right to feel anger, disbelief, grief and depression. It's all very normal I think.

I have no words of wisdom for you. Just know that there are wonderful folks here who have been there and can help you by listening to you and supporting you in your anguish.

:hug:

kesha