When does the hurting stop?

[raccoon]

My mother has been dead nearly 6 years. A week ago, I was looking for something in a drawer, and found the last checkbook she had used. I was looking through the register, and it brought the pain back as fresh as if it had been yesterday. Does this ever stop, or get better?

Ordinarily, I don't get that upset nowadays. I think it was looking at somthing that had belonged to her personally that bothered me.

[demwing]

1. My mother died when I was 16

I thought my life was over then. I am now 46. I can't believe so much time has passed. I barely remember her now, which I believe to be a trick of life to help you heal. When I see her pictures from before her death, I remember it all, though the memories are warmed by the patina of time, and there is a golden hue to my recollections.

The pain does fade, almost to the point of disappearing, but it never leaves completely, or permenantly. Sorrow is a small part of what makes us human, I think.

[livetohike]

2. It's almost five years since my Dad died

and I can't say that it will ever stop hurting. I seem to be remembering the good times more rather than the pain of his last month....

I hope your good memories of your Mom will help flush away the sadness :hug:.

[auntAgonist]

3. raccoon, my Mum passed away 12 years ago this coming

Sunday. The pain is different now. I still lose it some days when I think of some memory that seems to tear open the wound of her being gone.

Once in a while I almost telephone her.

I want to ask her about a recipe.

I want to share a granddaughter story.

I want to hear her jokes ... she was really funny.

There is nothing wrong with mourning someone you loved. The pain changes, your love stays the same.

:hug:

aA
kesha

[Odin2005]

4. It's been 5 months since my step-dad passed away and it still hurts.

:cry:

[DollyM]

5. I have lost other people in my life but nothing as terrible as losing my son . . .

Our 19 year old son, and only child, died in a car accident May 30th. I keep thinking I would feel better by now but it just keeps getting worse. I was making the bed tonight (after having camped out in it for 3 days straight)and I remembered showing my son how to make his bed and slide his hands into the corner and make little pockets out of them to pull them over the mattress. That set me off sobbing again. I wish I could just sleep through the next couple of years and all the pain of losing him. If I dream about him, it is the only time i feel happy. Last night I dreamed he was holding my hands, griping them so tightly. I couldn't see his face it was kind of blurred out but I knew these were his hands and I felt comforted. I hated waking up.

[we can do it]

6. Never, But Hopefully Love and Good Memories Will Carry You Through

My mom's been gone almost 5 years, things I see or hear can bring up memories and tears