Haunted by a dream of my deceased wife.

[Pryderi]

My wife underwent surgery on February 21, 2007 and died on March 29, 2007. I was married to her for 17 years and loved her completely and deeply. One of our favorite songs were, "Where Have you Been" by Kethy Mattea. We didn't realize the dream of the song, but we used to talk about what would happen if one of us predeceased the other. I told her that I could never find anyone that I could never remarry and that she was my soul mate. She used to say that I should find someone if she died before I did. .

She was right. I did find someone that I fell in love with and I've remarried for a little over over a year, and met with my minister and a psychologist prior to our getting engaged.

However, a couple of nights ago I dreamt my 1st wife was alive and had no memory of the last 3 years and didn't know I had had remarried since she passed away.

I talked to my wife about my dream and she recommended that I should talk to another counselor/psychologist. I agreed with her. I was had a few trepidations about talking to my current wife about my dream.

Both she and I were happy that I did.

I'm seeing a counselor in the next couple of weeks to talk about my dreams and feelings.

If anyone here has fears about talking about their predeceased spouse with their current spouse, I think it's important to let them know, and that a counselor would be a benefit to you.

I feared that my current wife would harbor some jealousy about my telling her about my dream, but I was wrong. She was glad that I shared with her my disturbing dream.

[yellerpup]

1. I'm glad that you found an understanding love.

She must really love you! Her lack of jealousy is the tipoff.

[Paper Roses]

2. I have read your posting many times. I am sure that many emotions have

gone through your mind. Guilt, fear, loss, fright, many others.

I am happy you have found a kindred soul with whom you may enjoy your life. Certainly nothing will erase your late wife's memory and that is how it should be.

When my husband died, I went to counseling at Hospice care. They were wonderful. It was a councilor with a group of 12 or so members. We met for 8 weeks, once a week.

This hospice has a small news and article publication they put put quarterly. This last one centers on men and their grieving and healing process. It should be on-line shortly, I receive a paper copy. I thought the article was very good.
Although I am a woman, I was married to my husband fore 45 years and am still having trouble coping with his death 18 months ago.

I will PM you with the link.
and wish you all good things.
PR

[undergroundnomore]

3. Not many people

are able to find true love. It sounds as though you shared the love of a lifetime for 17 years and now it sounds as though you've met someone who loves you completely. I'm glad she is there for you and is supportive of you as you find your way through this new chapter of your life. Take it easy. Allow yourself to grieve. Learn to open your heart to the love that waits for you here.