mother's day blues . . .

[DollyM]

I remember last Mother's day, my son with this silly grin on his face handing me a card . . . I never knew it would be my last. I still have that card, maybe I will give it to myself again tomorrow. With K being an only child, it has been especially difficult. I loved being a mom and really have struggled this past year with whether I was still a mom. I know that I am, but reminders' like Mother's day still sting. I am also starting a new job in a couple of weeks and I dread the inevitable questions of "do you have children" that goes with being a new staff person. It feel like ripping a scab off a wound each time. sigh . . .

[emilyg]

1. I am so deeply sorry.

:hug:

[CC]

2. You are still a mom and will

always be not only a mom but your son's mom. Cry if you want tomorrow/today, drag out that card and definitely remember that silly grin on his face from last year. On the job and those questions, just be honest. Not much else you can do and sometimes it is just easier to get it out there and over with. Most people won't have a clue what to say and them you almost have to give a pass to and explain you really don't know any "right" words either. (Unless you you do and then I will have to ask that you share them.) Once in a while you will find someone that has been there and they will understand and that understanding is a gift. It will be 10 years this year since my son was killed. It does get easier to handle but not sure it isn't just because I have been handling it for so long. The missing never stops but then I don't want it too, it just is. Sending lots of :hug:s your way. Hang in there.

[tango-tee]

3. So very sorry, dear DollyM,

Yes, you are still a mom and will always be a mom. Look at that precious card and cry if that is what you need to do.

There are no "right" words of consolation for someone who has lost a loved one, let alone lost a child. Especially all of the first "anniversaries" carry a special sting. Please accept a heartfelt, big hug from me.

[Paper Roses]

4. Dear DollyM, there are no words that will take away the pain.

Your son is always your son, your loss will always be with you. Those of us here are also suffering and we all know exactly what is happening to you. The hurt never goes away. I am told that you learn to cope and remember what you had, and not dwell on what you lost. Easier said than done.

I will think good thoughts for you today. Today I put spring flowers on my husbands grave.
It is Mothers Day and he would have bought me flowers. I intend to do the same for him.