Well, my life is changing....

[RevCheesehead]

It's been nearly a year since I've taken my family leave from the ministry in order to be with my Dad and his Alzheimer's. I also needed to heal from the wounds of ministry that left me battered and burned out. The time off has been good for me, and I'm on the road to healing.

The good news is that I'm getting married! I met Andy through a mutual friend, and we just knew instantly that we are meant to be together. Married at 48! Wow! I had pretty much written off that possibility, thinking that I was going to be the stereotypical "crazy cat-lady" who lived alone. We met on April 15, and got engaged three weeks later.

It's been a bit difficult communicating with my Dad, but he does know (usually) that I'm getting married, and he's met Andy - for the first time, several times, if you know what I mean. I do know that my dad is truly happy for me, and he has already welcomed Andy into the family.

But at the same time, it's kind of sad, because I really miss my mom so much. When Andy proposed to me, he went to my dad to ask for his blessing; and then we went to the cemetery and he asked my mom for her blessing as well. He has the ability to know when our loved ones are nearby, and he has told me that Mom hangs around me a LOT. He described her accurately, and when he saw the picture, he said "yup, that's her." So in a way, I know that Mom will be at our wedding. We've also decided to have our wedding at the place where my Dad lives, so he can be there, and hopefully "give me away." We'll see, since he's in another decline. My brother will come to do the ceremony.

I just wanted to share my story with you, who have been such compassionate friends in my time of need. For the last four years, you have helped and encouraged me when I felt so alone. Thank you for believing in me, and helping me realize that my life would go on, and I would find happiness and joy again. I am truly blessed for knowing such wonderful people. :hug:

Ruth

[CC]

1. Somewhere I missed the engagement

announcement in the KOEB so CONGRATS from me now. :hug: on the missing mom but I'm with Andy there, she is right next to you gently pushing you forward.


BTW the neighbor across the street from me has never been married, thought it was out of the cards for her. Then last year her friend that helped her with yard stuff and fixing stuff and known her for 35 years came clean and told her he loved her. They got engaged last Christmas. It happens more often than we think. (Oh she turned 50 this year.)

[RevCheesehead]

5. Yeah, I kinda blurted it out one night in a thread.

So much for the theory that "it's easier for a woman to be shot by a terrorist than to be married over the age of 40" bullcrap. :)

Many thanks, my Ferrettessa; and offer my congrats to your neighbor. :hug:

[livetohike]

2. Congratulations! So glad you and Andy found each other and

may all of your days together be happy, filled with peace and love. :hug: It will be a wonderful ceremony and one of those days when you look into your Dad's eyes and know that he knows :hug:.

[RevCheesehead]

6. Thank you so much!

I'm so thrilled that my fiancee wants to do this at Dad's place - just one more reason why I love him so. :loveya:

:hug:

[auntAgonist]

3. How wonderful!

Congratulations Ruth. I hope you and Andy have a life full of love and joy.
Andy is one lucky guy!!

Keeping my fingers crossed that your Dad will be on an upswing for your wedding and be able to present you to your new husband.

I heard a Father say once that he would NEVER give his daughter away, she was always going to be HIS baby. He would present her to her future husband but keep her close to his heart always. I think maybe your Dad would be the same.

much love to you and Andy!

:hug:

kesha

[RevCheesehead]

7. That's a much better way of putting it - thanks!

I don't know if he will be able to go down the aisle, but it's gonna be a fairly small wedding, so maybe he can just sit up front and be proud.

Thanks so much, Kesha. :hug:

[havocmom]

4. Ah, wonderful news! Am so happy for you.

And, true to form, your generous nature shares this great thing with us here in our odd little club! You are truly a wonderful, kind soul.

Best wishes for a long and profoundly happy union! Glad you are going to try to have your dad involved. And, yeah, your mom WILL be there. I have no doubts on that score at all!

:hug:

[RevCheesehead]

8. Thanks, Havocmom

And thank you for your kind words. I just wanted to share that sometimes really good things can happen after a loss, and that death isn't powerful enough to keep my Mom away. That's pretty amazing, isn't it?

:hug: