Three years today. It is not getting any better.

[Paper Roses]

Being married, having a close companion for 45 years, someone to whom my life was devoted...gone.
Today is as bad day.

[ceveritt]

1. Three years

Paper Roses:

Terribly sorry for your bad day. May 30 was the third-year anniversary of my wife's death. That, too, was a grim-to-the-brim day.

Hope you are now feeling better.

Best,

CE

[DollyM]

2. I would like to wipe May 30th of the calendar . . .

It was two years May 30th since our son died in a car accident. I am not sure where i thought I would be by now but i thought it would be better than this. I tihnk I have decided that really, this isn't going to get "better". I think I will just have to learn to live with the pain, kind of like an old wound that flairs up from time to time, reminding you how you got that wound in the first place. At those times, I just hole myself up inside my house and ignore everyone and have a giant pity party. I have stopped trying to force myself to ignore those days, they are going to come and I am going to have to deal with them. I just try to be good too myself and lower my stress level as much as I can at those times. I have stopped worrying about what anyone else thinks. I have a cousin that lost her 19 year old son 30 years ago and after our son died, it seems like it gave her the opportunity to share the hurt that she still feels. So, no, I don't think the pain ever goes away, we just have to learn functional ways to deal with it. (Chocolate is border line as to whether that is functional for me or not!)