Hey can I post around here for the first time.

[Longgrain]

Since I'm in that kind of mood tonight...

In 1989, a cousin of mine lost a son. He was only nine years old at the time. It was a backyard accident; he was playing on a stack of logs his father set up. He misstepped and the logs came crashing down.

What's worse is that his father was a paramedic, and one of the one who had to "answer the call."

His name was Stephan, I used to play with him a lot when he was a little kid.

It's been fifteen years. His brother graduated high school a few years ago.

He had a sister who was less than two years old when he died...

I hope this doesn't sound too shmatzy...just thinking of him tonight...

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. Ohhh.. So hard to lose a child and I hope I am never in that position

myself. :(

I think of people who have been lost, and the ones they left behind too, sometimes. And maybe that is good, you know? It keeps the ones who have gone around in a small way, and maybe, just thinking about the survivors sends out a good vibe to them.. maybe helps them in some way.

[Longgrain]

2. Thanks GPV...Just felt the rush, and needed to express it...

I know you're going through a lot yourself...with your mother and GreenLantern...

Here's to love...:hug:

(and thanks for getting this group started



:hi: )

[GreenPartyVoter]

3. Thanks. Nice start to my day. :^)

[Cleita]

4. So sorry. I hope the father doesn't feel guilty.

Kids always go where they shouldn't. Most survive. It's sad when one doesn't. I grew up in a mining camp. There was a dump with very large rocks on it. Our parents warned us away from the dump because dislodging one rock could bring the whole pile down on you like an avalanche.

We were attracted there anyway because many of the rocks, which were useless to the mine, had lovely stones like lapis lazuli and many crystals. We weren't aware of the money value, just that they were pretty. We were very careful not to dislodge rocks. I could tell you so many other stories of going where you shouldn't but living to tell the tale.

I went to see my insurance agent yesterday and she didn't know until I told her that my husband had died, but she said something rather interesting. (She is Jewish.) She said our time is appointed and it will happen because that's when we have to go, so maybe it was this child's time and I always like to think that children who die are in a better place.

[marions ghost]

5. I am dealing with the death of a child today

my 12-year-old nephew died at midday on Easter Sunday. He had severe cerebral palsy from birth and lived all his life in a wheelchair. He could smile and laugh and communicate with his eyes and subtle hand signals. His vocalizations were understandable, though a code of his own. My sister and her husband kept him at home, and gave him a good quality of life. They taught him many things and he taught them many things. They often had to contend with those who wondered openly why they would bother to invest in such a compromised human, but they also were lucky to have others around them who joined their support team unquestioningly. My nephew's daily struggle to survive came to an end abruptly this week. There is no strong feeling among the close family that "he's better off," though that is a typical observer's reaction. Since we know him well, we are having the same sense of loss you would feel with any child's death. Trying to celebrate the life, no matter how short.

I'm finding the death of a child feels so different from the death of an older adult. More questions about why did they live at all, the loss of that child's potential, the mystery of who they might have become. And of course the illogical notion that a child should be spared such suffering. I would think for a parent there is a lot of anger about the loss, and guilt about not doing enough, etc., even when nothing could have been done. Parents of souls who leave in childhood can teach the rest of us a lot about acceptance of the human condition. There are no guarantees, and all our fondest illusions may be shattered in a flash. The death of a child is an especially hard challenge.

[Cleita]

6. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's especially hard on day that is

supposed to be a joyous holiday. You said,

More questions about why did they live at all, the loss of that child's potential, the mystery of who they might have become.

I often wondered about that myself and yet no matter what short length of time a soul spends as a flesh and blood human being, they have an impact on the whole of creation. Their potential was realized during their short lives if fate had deemed it to be a short life.

You yourself said that your family learned much from him and others who came in contact with him learned from him as well. You can be sure of that. He was a gift to you for a short time and now he has gone home. I truly believe he has. In the years that come he will find ways to let you know that.

[GreenPartyVoter]

7. I am so sorry. *hugs* Children are our most precious gift. I can't

even remember what my life without mine was like, and I don't want to find out the hard way.

[Rhiannon12866]

8. You absolutely belong here. This is so sad, and it doesn't matter

How long it's been. I am a long-time DU member who was checking out this group for someone who is also suffering over the loss of a child. I just trust DU. Nothing could be worse than losing a child. And what a sad story, since his own Dad answered the call. Wow! But the folks on DU are the most compassionate I have ever known. Welcome. And what a great name, Stephan, my grandfather's name. I know you miss him and it's not schmaltzy at all.

Rhiannon :hug: