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A couple of weeks ago, a close friend of mine killed herself. Single gunshot to the head. She was 32 years old.
In the time since, I've been stunned by the level of cruelty shown by some people in response to this. It happened back east, in my old home town and so I've followed the story in the local newspaper and on the town's message board. Apparently, she lived across the road from a guy who was a sort of self-appointed vigilante. He was convinced that there was a large amount of illegal activity going on in the neighborhood and he set up video recording equipment, taping his neighbors comings and goings at all hours of the day.
My friend, who had a teenage daughter, was a constant victim of this. In addition, he hurled verbal abuse at her whenever he saw her. She appealed to the town, the police, the social service agencies and the State's Attorney, all of whom were sympathetic but who could do nothing because under the state's stalking laws, the man was not violating any of them.
Sensitive and prone to Depression, it took a toll on her. After several months of this runaround and another failed attempt to get a restraining order against this guy, she sat down at her kitchen table and killed herself.
And on these message boards and in comments in the paper, I see people lambasting her. Even blaming her. Accusing her of drug use and dealing (absurd and untrue), talking about relatives who were criminals (there is just her and her brother - the rest of her family is dead), and actually poking fun at her - "So she kills herself - brilliant."
I guess when someone you don't know dies, you see it in the abstract but to me, it's a knife through my heart to read vile, mean-spirited comments about someone I cared about so much, someone who must have been completely at the end of her rope to do what she did.
I wish people would remember that when anyone dies, they leave behind people who are grieving. Whether or not they think it's funny or absurd, I wish they'd keep their remarks private. It's a horrible thing to google a person's name and find things like I've been finding. :(
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