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The cause of my Grandma's death.

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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-07-06 10:32 AM
Original message
The cause of my Grandma's death.
We'd never even had a diagnosis of Alzheimer's:

The death certificate says: "Cardiac arrest-congestive heart failure, arterial sclerosis, underlying condition: Alzheimer's Disease."

In other words, she died of old age. In How We Die, the author talks about the over-diagnosis of elderly patients, and contends that yes, in fact, we can die simply of old age. It's really not necessary, though it might be interesting, to know exactly what kills the elderly. Sometimes it's acute or chronic diseases, but sometimes - as in Grandma's case - it's just the accumulation of things that happen as we age. I agree with him.

Grandma had been ready to go for quite some time, but her body just wouldn't catch up to her wishes. She finally got to go to Jesus on October 27.
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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-07-06 12:59 PM
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1. God bless you, Bertha.
She's fine now. Therefore, I'm keeping YOU in my prayers. And Mrs. V.
:hug:
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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-07-06 01:30 PM
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2. I have missed her since I moved to the east coast six years ago, but
I miss her so much more now. How long before the mourning can stop and just the sweet memories begin?

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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-07-06 03:43 PM
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3. I dunno.
I'll let you know when that happens for me.

Seriously, I think that we always mourn the loss of our loved ones. Can you ever really "get over" someone's absence?

In our All Saints' service last Sunday, we read a litany that included a paragraph I think you'd appreciate (or will, eventually):

"Months or years may have passed, and still we feel near to them. Our hearts yearn for them. Though the bitter grief has softened, a duller pain now abides; for the place where once they stood is empty now. The links of life are broken, but the links of love cannot break."
(the congregation responds: "Their souls are bound up in ours forever.")

It softens, but it still hurts. It's a permanent wound, that heals with a scar. You never forget you have it, because it's always with you.

By the way, the sweet memories are what help the painful mourning ease.
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-08-06 01:43 AM
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4. Hugs, Bertha
:hug:
Your loss is still very fresh. I don't think we "get over it," but over time it does get somewhat easier, I suppose.

I just finished reading this very amazing book called "Shantaram," by Gregory David Roberts, which included this wonderful paragraph about a friend who was killed in an accident. I read it over and over, then copied it for future reference:

"At first, when we truly love someone, our greatest fear is that the loved one will stop loving us. What we should fear and dread, of course, is that we won't stop loving them, even after they're dead and gone. For I still love you with the whole of my heart, Prabaker. I still love you. And sometimes, my friend, the love that I have, and can't give to you, crushes the breath from my chest. Sometimes, even now, my heart is drowning in a sorrow that has no stars without you, and no laughter, and no sleep."
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