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It has only been a couple of months but I felt I needed to write this. Thank you for indulging this granddaughter.
This is the first Christmas without my Grandma. The term Grandmother was way too formal for our relationship I affectionately called her Gram or Nanny. She meant the world to me and to our family.
She was the best Gram a kid could have.
I remember this time of year because I spent every one of my 36 Christmas holidays with her except the eight months we lived in Michigan. That Christmas we were back east, she sent two newly crocheted baby blankets and a pair of slippers made especially for me in anticipation of our first baby. We had only learned I was pregnant in September so she worked quickly in order to get it to us by Christmas.
My husband and I were able to come home to California for good that following March which made our homecoming the best time I can remember. My Gramps was wonderful loving Italian man who celebrated everything with food. I spent the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy in my Grandparent's house eating everything he put in front of me and loving every bit of it. He was the kind of guy who got up in the morning made my Gram her coffee and toast then he would sit at the table and read the paper and pontificate out loud about his menu for the day. My grandparents were both there in the hospital the day their great grandchild was born and they bonded instantly with him.
My Gramps from the time I was a baby would dress as Santa and always come on Christmas Eve to our house with storybook lifesavers and a special stocking for me and my brothers. I didn’t know it was him until I was about twelve years old and even then I went along because I wanted the magic to continue. Gram would drive him over to our house dressed in his Santa suit for the quick visit and then they would take a long drive around our city while waving to people in cars on Christmas Eve. They both got kick out of it. He did that for thirty some odd years until 2000, the year he passed away.
Growing up Italian meant that my childhood memories are always filled with celebrations of food. Even though Nanny gave up her kitchen to my Gramps she would always bake for Christmas and I would always help her when I was little. She was always so patient with me.
She would indulge my Gramps’ hobbies as he would grow every kind of pepper and tomato plant under the sun in his backyard. He would grow them from seedling and nurture each crop carefully. He would build large irrigation systems with hoses running every which way all over her back porch but her job was to make sure he took a break often and to offer compliments of the beautiful garden he had tended for her. He would bring her roses that he planted for her and she would display them proudly. He even planted a lilac bush that she loved year after year.
When he was busy cooking or gardening I spent my time with Nanny, I knew I had a special relationship with her. Being her only granddaughter, we shared many moments that I will cherish for the rest of my life. We would often go shopping. In fact my Nanny took me on my first grown up lunch date. During that time all the major department stores had their own restaurants within the stores and they offered linen napkins and the sandwiches with the crust cut-off in perfect little triangles. It was a real treat for me to get to go for a fancy grown up lunch with just my Gram. That day she paid for me to get my ears pierced and bought me my first set of earrings; I still have them to this day.
She was last of my grandparents to pass away so with her the last first-hand account of a generation. I was fortunate enough to be there with her the weekend before she died. She couldn’t hear me when I rubbed her favorite lotion on her hands and feet but I hope her senses allowed her to feel my presence. She wanted to go and I told her in a brief moment of awareness that it was okay to go. Mom and I told her we loved her and that we knew she loved us. We played Bud and Travis’ greatest hits including her beloved Sin Ti. That song reminded her of my Gramps, she was never the same after they were separated. They were truly best friends in life so his death was hard on her and her body started to grow frail. Cancer is hard on anyone but a month after his death in 2000, she was diagnosed and we knew it was a huge obstacle to overcome but she did it and went on to live the next six years in courage.
My mother deserves much of the credit for helping my Gram to survive. She literally kept her alive by being her complete caregiver. I spent time on the phone with Gram because I lived too far to be there everyday but Mom was the one there night or day feeding Gram and taking her to the doctor and making sure everything got done.
I remember the times Gram and I shared when I was a little girl and how when I was very young I would lay across her lap and she would scratch my back and brush my hair and the feeling of comfort has still stayed with me to this day. I learned how to be a mommy to my boy by following her lead as a mother and a grandmother.
I learned that it is always okay to spoil your children with love.
I learned that you didn’t need to make turkey or ham for the holidays it was perfectly okay to go out for Chinese food.
I learned that you could never own too many pairs of shoes.
I learned that pie is perfectly acceptable for breakfast especially if you made it yourself.
I learned that going skinny dipping in moonlight in your backyard is great fun at any age.
I learned when kids won’t eat vegetables or cottage cheese that applesauce makes a great side dish. (I do have to say my Gram learned this life lesson the hard way when my little brother threatened to puke if she made him eat his cottage cheese. He made good on his threat.) From then on, Gram always offered applesauce as a substitute. She even sprinkled it with cinnamon.
She told me stories about her life and growing up and I won’t forget to pass them on.
I just want to say that I will miss her. No regrets, about what could have been said. She knew we loved her and we all knew she loved us.
I am a really lucky person.
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