4

[DaveJ]

I'm finding the withdrawal symptoms of day 4 interesting. I'm on Welbutrin, there's no way I could have gone through the withdrawal without it. The anti-depressant qualities are the best, since quitting can be really depressing and Welbutrin totally offsets it. In the past, I tried patches which were useless, still being on nicotine what's the point?

I've read a few sites that talk about withdrawal, and they mention anxiety, cravings, headache, but what I don't understand is that they do not mention the -=physical pain=-. I think this is why it took me so long to quit, because I'm scared of any kind of pain. Is this pain normal, or just me? Maybe it's body aches that I've always had that were covered up by the smoking euphoria?

Anyways, I'm glad I got this far. I have no doubt this will work. My fiancée' also quit 3 month ago, and either one of us would be very pissed if the other relapsed.

My issue is, I've learned I can't have 1 single cigarette, or I'll be back to a pack a day within a week. No question about it. I can't even have a puff. Some people can smoke 1 a day but not me. I'd go through physical withdrawal just from that 1, not wanting to experience withdrawal.

The analogy I use in my mind is that smoking is like cutting oneself over and over again until the nerves are destroyed and can't detect the pain anymore. Smoking is pretty much the same. If I smoke, it will physically hurt. Continuing to do it, the pain will go away. But I do not want to hurt myself. -Edited for spelling-

[murielm99]

1. Good for you, Dave.

Keep up the quit.

I tried Wellbutrin years ago. I broke out in hives, and had to use another method to help me quit.

I can't smoke any more. If I have one cigarette, I get sick. That is why it is so stupid that I crave cigarettes some days!

I don't know about the pain you mentioned. I never had any of that. But think of the pain you will have if you continue to smoke. COPD, lung cancer, heart disease.... This is what I have to tell myself.

Stay strong!

[DaveJ]

2. Day 5 now, a little better

Interesting. I guess somehow the smoking made me ignore whatever muscle tension I might have had. Maybe I have a low pain threshold. THAT's probably why it was so hard for me to quit, when others had less of a problem.

I was earlier also talking about the physical pain that a nonsmoker feels in their lungs when they first smoke. If I were to smoke now I'd probably feel it too. So why would I want to inflict pain upon myself? Even if the pain goes away after causing enough of it, that still doesn't make any sense.

And, I'm in a new relationship and we are both thick headed, and strong willed. Before we were codependents but now we will keep one another in check.

[Mira]

3. I quit with Welbutrin. On May 5, 1998. Never again another puff.

Because if I did, just like you said, I'll be back to two packs a day within 2 weeks. I'm glad you know it about yourself, so you don't fall prey to the "just one" won't hurt fallacy. It's something you don't do any more.
Visualize the cartons you have smoked in a room, stacked high, and say to yourself: That's enough for this life time.

I tried every possible way to quit over 33 years of smoking. Nothing worked til I got the depression licked that set in when I tried to give up my "best friend". Welbutrin worked for me like a charm. After about 4-5 weeks I forgot to take it and was home free.

I want to give a testimonial to you that there is life after cigarettes.
A good and healthy life, and I wish it for you.

Inch by inch, it's a cinch.

[DaveJ]

4. Depression has always been a big issue

Yeah I'd also say the main hurdles for me are 1) Pain during withdrawal and 2) Depression.

I might continue on the antidepressant for awhile, since it helps me cope with certain people at work. I probably should switch to one that allows alcohol since I'll still want wine and beer.

I've quit 23 years of smoking. Today it's just slight pain and anxiety, but I'm beginning to feel what normal is like again.

I had to make a lot of failed attempts before I finally understood the obstacles. This time I know it's for real. I have heard other people say they still 'could' do it, but not me... I mean, I 'could' run down the street naked but I'm not going to do that. Not feeling normality for 4-5 days is rough, I'm glad it's almost over.

[DaveJ]

5. I take it back... This is Ridiculous

Day 5 STILL SUCKS. I don't think it's any better than 4. Just more of the usual. I Don't feel normal. Can't relax for a second. No idea what pleasure is like. How the hell can this nicotine which has been out of my system for days continue to do this??? It makes NO sense. I'm not doing anything. Just feeling displeasure. I'm doing the right thing and being punished for it. But I guess that's how life is when it comes to everything.

[murielm99]

6. Please keep coming here and venting when you need

to do that. Someone will help. We can all help each other.

Your SO can help you too, if you have both quit.

And if you slip, it is not a failure. You learn from each mistake. Get back up and start over.

Don't smoke. Day 5 is awesome!

[DaveJ]

7. I'm not gonna slip. Just venting.

Usually when I post messed up thoughts on the DU I don't come back to the thread, but in this case I feel comfortable coming back.

I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I'm drinking a lot of caffeine... coffee and soda. Yeah I know it's Bad, but I need some kind of substitute. Plus nicotine used to metabolize the caffeine. Anyway, it's taking my mind off it. Maybe it's also that caffeine can be a pain killer? Don't worry, I won't OD on caffeine.

I blew up at my coworker earlier about him getting to leave before me all the time. It's ok, he understands. Besides I'm legitimately pissed about that.

I'm going to take my second Wellbutrin pill in an hour and that may get me through the rest of the night. Thanks for listening.

[DaveJ]

8. 2

I'm now measuring in weeks not days. Week 2. My main issue now is extreme anxiety over the damage I did to myself. I'll need to get a full lung checkup in a month or two.

[DaveJ]

9. Week 3

Well I'm on week 3 now, weened off the pill about 5 days ago. I'm feeling a little depressed but I think that is normal for me regardless of smoking withdrawal.

Thanks everyone for their wonderful unconditional friendship and support. I know I can come to the DU and be treated like a friend by everyone with no concern or anxiety or feeling that I'm walking on eggshells for fear of having a word out of place or a concept not perfectly presented.... here we are all friends!

Anyway, I think I'm out of the woods now.