Should of quit years ago. Now I have to.

[Kaleva]

For sometime now, I didn't know what was going on as I lay in bed at night (this was the time it bothered me the most). I felt like I could breathe normally but my chest area, neck and head felt way off. Can't describe the feeling other then I thought I was dieing. To help calm me down, I'd get up and go outside to smoke a couple of cigarettes (like that helped at all!). Sometimes I'd stay up most of the night because I dreaded going back to bed and experience that dieing feeling again.

Finally got the feeling really bad yesterday during the day time. Was driving with my wife in the car and she noticed my face had turned red and I was gasping. I continued to drive for a bit but finally pulled over and told her she had to drive. She really got scared then as I always drive and have never asked her to do so. We take off; I'm gasping and fighting off the feeling of death when we meet a state police car. My wife had the speed up to just over 70 and sure enough, the police car stopped, turned around and was after us. My wife pulled over, got out of the car, ran back to the police car and told the officer what was going on. They talked and it was decided I'd ride in the police car to the hospital. Damn, did we fly! My wife said later she tried to keep up but she didn't dare drive faster then 85 and we were out of sight.

I should have honored my promise to my mother when she was dieing of breast cancer that I'd quit smoking. That was over 20 years ago.

[Alameda]

1. I hope the desire to smoke has subsided ...has it?

Having serious problems breathing is what did it for me. I felt so damned stupid for smoking. I was gasping for breath and went to lite up, choked and took a look at myself and have not had one since then. I could not smoke, then I realized if I wanted to breath and not die like that, I'd better stop. I quite cold turkey. It was a mess. I used herbs, mullein, lobelia and licorice. Shitaki mushrooms, lotus root, nettle and other herbs. After a month I saw a acupuncturist who gave me treatments taught me some chi gong exercises.

When you stop smoking you have to repair things, there is a detoxification period that can be frightening. For months I was spitting up flem. I got skin eruptions. If you have been smoking a long time, you have a lot of crap in your system. Be patient while your body heals. It's not easy, it doesn't happen overnight.

It's almost two years now, but I can breath, my new sense of smell is amazing. I still have to be careful with dust and things that irritate the lungs, but it's a lot better.

Instead of smoking I go have a deep breath of air that I savor like a fine wine.

[Kaleva]

2. M ost of the cigarettes I've smoked in a day were not because I had to...

It was more of habit or something to do while killing time. I've had 10-12 cigs today which is far less then I usually smoke but even a few of those today were not because I had to have one. A little bit more will power on my part and I could easily reduce the number even further.

[Alameda]

3. Yes, it's a habit...something you do mindlessly......

Many habits are the result of a compulsion. You feel compelled to smoke. You don't feel comfortable or you can't concentrate unless you smoke. It's hard to admit that you are an addict. From what you said, it sounded like you need to stop smoking, so why did you smoke half a pack? Are you telling me you wanted to smoke, you enjoyed it?.........or???

It's really really hard, it's easier if you loose the desire. Aversion therapy sometimes works.

[Kaleva]

4. Have had less then half a pack today so far and it's 8:20!

[Alameda]

5. How do you feel?

Less is better than more, but I sincerely hope you get the will to quite totally. Think how nice it would be to have that monkey off your back.

Think of yourself fighting to breath...good luck.

[Kaleva]

6. Still smoking about a pack a day but now got a script for Chantrix.

It's expensive so I'll have to wait till my disability check comes in on the 2nd Tuesday of next month before getting it.