End of the World

[EvolvedChimp]

Today I can’t stop asking myself why the world feels so cold, so unfamiliar, so strange yet so lucid. Why are we put on this earth to die. Are we really just the pattern of infinite molecules just bouncing around dictating our entire destiny. I dare to dream that there's more then just that but I don't think I can believe it. Why are we born into a world that governs our every action, teaches what to think and learn? How can society try to tell you how to live your life? How can it tell you who you are? How did we end up in a world so distant from what life was meant to be? My mind is screaming anarchy but my heart yearns for a life in the wild. A world where we live to survive. A life where we mate and don't make love. Where you live and die under your own free will. Animals don't mourn death, death is our successor. Death is the only thing you can count on. It’s the end to every road and the fate of every decision. We live our lives to die so a new organism can form. But is that all there is. If there is a God then why must he give us minds with conciseness? I wish I could turn off my head. I wish i could just go through life like everyone else. With their heads up and facing forward. I feel stuck. I can see the world float by but I am not going with the flow. I feel the world unraveling before me. Every truth that I thought I knew, every emotion I thought I understood. But I cant do this anymore. If we are living just to die then what does the moment matter. Human consciousness, human society all formed over millions of years yet I don't feel that humans have yet evolved. Why were humans put here? To entertain some almighty being, no maybe were here to make sure that earth, our world, meets the same fate as everything else. I cant control my thoughts or my emotions. I look at the cosmos and I feel so insignificant. I look at an ant and I feel the same way. I suppose my biggest fear is understanding too much. But at the same time i understand none of it. Its scary just to ask the question. Maybe I don't want to hear the answer. Maybe there is no optimism to life, but there is no pessimism either. I feel like we are here to be part of a larger thing that still does not exist. I look to the future, I think about 200 years from now. There will not be a soul on the Earth who ever knew I existed. Maybe i don't. Maybe no one does. Maybe the entire world is just the randomization of thousands or millions of particles making up some passing light in space. Its scary but I take comfort in that. And until I find the beam of light I’m traveling on, nothing will ever be the same.

[Droopy]

1. Sounds like it could be the preface to a book on philosophy

Is that a work of fiction or actually the way you feel about things?

If it's the way you feel about things then I understand where you are coming from, but I take life just one day at a time now and don't worry about things too much. My head is up, but I do take a look around me now and then. Nothing much I can do about things the way they are except try to understand.

That's some good writing there, EvolvedChimp. Keep up the good work.

[EvolvedChimp]

2. Thanks for reading it

I'm pretty nervous of what people will think. I''ve written for a while but never showed anybody my stuff. I know that the people who love me worry about me enough. They are the reason I'm still on this Earth.

[Droopy]

3. It's natural to be nervous about self expression

You put yourself out there. You make yourself vulnerable. Especially when that self expression is of the nature that is written in your original post. I hope that you decide to post more in this forum. Your original post is very thought provoking and I'm sure many will find it interesting.

[JitterbugPerfume]

4. thought provokng words

welcome to the Poetry Group


I hope to hear more from you

[EFerrari]

9. Hi there

I used to feel the same way. Even too scared to read or publish when asked. It felt awful.

For me, being more at ease had nothing to do with approval or publication or any of the things I thought would put me at ease. Funny, because it was sort of like drawing or anything else that requires practice, lots of practice. After a while, you do it because you love it. If other people enjoy, that's the icing.

But it's not the cake :)

On the poem: I like the great big block that is like the big wall of questions that are unanswered in poem. I'd also like to see what it'd look like if you used line breaks to shape and modulate the speaking voice. But, I'm a never-ending tinkerer.

Welcome to the group,
Beth

[KaliTracy]

5. thank you for sharing this with us -- I saw above

that you were nervous -- but remember -- words are powerful, and even more powerful when shared.

[EvolvedChimp]

6. Thanks a lot

It's barely poetry though.

[KaliTracy]

7. ah, prose poems are not "new" -- many have used this -- including

Sharon Olds (which I mentioned previously to Droopy). Depends on what you want your words to do -- which direction to take them. Once they are on the page they are vulnerable to your whims, your manipulation, you have control over them now..... whether or not you keep them in the same configuration is up to you. whether or not you explode them to make several new pieces is up to you.

Take a persual on the web about prose poetry -- there are a lot of individual sites out there that dabble in it. I just found this one of a person who has a few out there. Though there may be other sites out there you like better.

http://www.emmadavies.net/proems/default.aspx

[EvolvedChimp]

8. Good advice

My favorite way of writing is free writing like in my post. The only changes i meade were grammatical. The words come out without thought so they must be as true as i can be.