hi. by way of introduction, a couple of fun poems....

[Lerkfish]

Tooth Sheaf
By Lerk

When sampling brew from other land

I tried one once that weighed like sand

Tooth Sheaf, it said, I swear with wink

with hard consistency of grit

I could almost swear, when I took drink

that I, instead, was drunk by it




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The ubiquitous "submit" button
by Lerk

In fear and trepidation, I
cringe at each window fly
the web is not a happy place
but servile hell without a face

No matter if I order stuff
or answer questions in a huff
come joyous, sad or apathetic
I vow right now to be ascetic

So listen close, I tell no lies
independent thought, now realize
quite soon will just evaporate
and leave us all as automates

The proof of plot so dark, insidious
the little toggle, god, it's hideous
that just to respond upon the net,
I've no choice, can't around it get.

Who are these fiends that ask of me
the last shred of my weak dignity
That harsh command the button sets
and orders souls like me "submit"

Submit to what?, I beg and plead
surely the web itself has no need
of lives as dreary, grey as mine
of someone so bereft of time.

What religion this, it's so perverse
the empty aether grinds its curse
and forces mice and men comply
stealing them of alibi

"Submit" and "resubmit" again
does this torture have no end?
the only worse, I give up ghost
pillored am I against the "post"


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I like silly, fun poems. I am not a great poet, but ogden nash is my hero.


ok, one more....


Between Ginger and Mary Ann
By Lerk

when forced to pick between the two,
it puts me rather deeply blue
for each has just the quality
to wish me shipwrecked out at sea

Ginger is the sailor's choice
with wiggled walk
and sultry voice
But Mary Ann, all fresh and scrub
Is never one
that I would snub

A stolen kiss from Farmer's daughter
is to a desert dweller, water
a calf-like nuzzle behind the ear
would make me blush, to be the steer

and gingham does more comfort give
than fancy silks or satin gold
and I would rather try and live
in Kansas warmth than L.A. cold

oh, ginger's nice, and quite the snap
but I am not a fancy chap
I seek the heart and not the face
I gravitate toward homespun grace
you'll never top the joy, I think
of winsome smile and hearty wink
Not with the hips, or lips, or sips
from ginger's heady brew of drink

But might I ask a thing of you
on such a choice I hesitate
instead of choosing one of two
could I not rather vacillate?

Mary Ann's my choice, but brother!
my adolescent fantasy
is not the one or just the other
but island hammocks built for three!


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I tried joining a poetry website once and was soundly beaten and driven away. The fact that I rhymed was apparently a sin.

at any rate, hope y'all enjoy these anyhow....