Not much left to eat in the fridge, but I don't want to go out there...

[northamericancitizen]

The last 24 hours has (and continue to) been fucking difficult to stay sober.

On the 1rst day of the month, it was when I used to indulge myself with all my addictions.

They are haunting me. Something inside of me is screaming for an artificial destructive relief from myself.


I don't dare go out. I gave my bank card to my son. I had chained myself to my computer. At least the internet addiction doesn't cost much and won't make me sick.

I am shaking from inner tension. I would like to feel the alcohol relief, the gambling freezing my emotions and the intellectual orgasm of freebase smoking.

Instead I am going tru a hell of a time staying away from all that.

I know it will get easier with time.

10 days abstinent.

Hanging on.

lise

[NMDemDist2]

1. oh lise!

sometimes it just takes white knuckling it out

:hug:

is there a meeting near by? or just call your local AA office and talk to them. chances are someone could come get you and take you to a meeting

PM me if you want a call I think my cell phone gives me free minutes to canada

but get on the phone with SOMEONE, preferably close to home

http://www.aa.org/CAN_CtrOffice/que.html

http://www.aacanada.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=10&sid=ac225c0a2b7e44ed42538eb03b7b2ec2

[KitchenWitch]

2. I am sending you positive energy!

You will get through this!

:hug:

[northamericancitizen]

3. Thanks for the positive energy KW and thanks to you Azdem.

It's now 3 AM in Québec and I am getting ready to go to bed. Sober.

I went tru it. One more time.

Yea!!!

lise

[NMDemDist2]

4. i hit such a wall at about 3 weeks sober too. it was awful but after

I survived that day, things got a lot easier

I hope you have the same experience and :hug: