Experience with CODA? or SLAA?

[idgiehkt]

Hi everyone. I have never posted in this forum before. I have been free from any romantic involvements for a few years, kind of trying to get my head straightened out. I have had a couple of attempts at putting my toes in the water only to realize that I am horribly obsessive. The thing is, I don't remember being this way before, or at least to this degree. I am thinking it is codependency, or it maybe is some form of 'love addiction' whatever that is. I have little to no experience with either of these two groups I mentioned in the title, so I'd kind of like to hear any feedback on experience people may have with either one. I do have experience with al-anon, and another group for recovery chidren of addicts/alcoholics that I cannot remember the name of, it's like al-anon but loser (help me out if you know it, I've forgotten). I haven't done any twelve-step work in a long time, but it's obvious there are some problems within me that need to be dealt with, that I can't fix on my own. Any feedback on these would be appreciated.

For some reason right now I am hugely resistant to going to any 12 step groups dealing with substance abuse, even though I've been clean/sober 5 years this time and almost 10 before I realapsed. I think I need to work on my issues with people.

[SPKrazy]

1. CODA and SLAA

Well I've attended CODA before. It was a small group and it actually didn't last long where I live. I've been to Alanon too.

SLAA, have read their literature, but not attended an SLAA meeting as there are none in my area.
Love addiction is harder for me to understand, but I also think it is a form of "codependency" which is hard to define too.

I know you can find out information about both online:

http://www.slaafws.org/

http://www.codependents.org/

It can't hurt to find out more about them. If there are meetings, you might check them out.

Also, I heard a speaker from Texas talking about where they lived- on the aquifer. You couldn't have basements there really because of the high water table. But if you did, you would eventually get a leak and have water coming in. You could patch up the leak, but sooner or later you'd have it come out elsewhere. The only real solution was to fill in the basement because it was inevitably going to find a way to "leak" somewhere.

My own addictive nature has manifested itself in many ways. I've had to seek a 12 step program outside of AA/NA to deal with that manifestation as it had been part of my life longer than alcohol or drugs had. Ultimately we all deal with our underlying selves, the part of us that used alcohol, drugs, relationships, love, sex, food, or whatever- to change how we feel.

There's help out there if you seek it and you deserve to be happy Idg!

[idgiehkt]

4. it definitely moves

I've really been kind of sitting and thinking about this tonight and I don't know if it's just something where I'm making the choices I am because in truth I really don't want anyone to get that close to me. I just wonder if that has something to do with it. That is a good analogy. Sometimes, you know, I just think, I've been doing this shit for so fucking long. Why am I not better yet?

This thing inside me just moves every time I get up close to it. I do want to give CoDA a try though. I really liked ACoA too. Either one. I'm really tired, you know?

I'm sure you know, you've been at this a lot longer than me.

[SPKrazy]

5. Since I Got Up Today

the rest is past history
tomorrow never comes

[KitchenWitch]

2. The children of addicts/alkies group wasn't ACoA was it?

I used to go to ACoA meetings before I "discovered" my own addiction.

[idgiehkt]

3. that's it

and I really, really liked the ones that I went to. Thanks!

[SPKrazy]

6. If It Is Codependency (I hate that word really)

or obsessiveness with persons who are unavailable because of sexual issues, then Codependents of Sex Addicts COSA

might be the deal?

Here's a WebMD page about different groups related to these issues.


http://www.webmd.com/hw/healthy_sexuality/shc85.asp

The issues are very complicated to unravel, and perhaps the only thing to say is that you check out some different ways of looking at what you are dealing with and figure out what it is you need.

:hug:

[idgiehkt]

7. thanks.

:hi: