Hey..need some help finding a group that is not religious-centered.

[lildreamer316]

Husband has expressed interest in going to an AA-like group. He is to the point where the Christian teachings are something he can deal with; but we would rather find something not quite so accentuated on that. Any suggestions? Having a hard time tracking it online.
Thanks in advance.

[NMDemDist2]

1. i'm not Christian at all

but AA works for me.

AA is a spirtual program, not a religious one. if anyone tells him different, tell him to make them show him where it says that in the Big Book :rofl:

[lildreamer316]

2. Thanks..

I appreciate it. I was just worried....

[NMDemDist2]

8. dream, my dear

may I suggest Alanon for you too? if he's been drinking hard enough and long enough to think AA is a good idea chances are there are some 'interesting' dynamics in your relationship at this stage.

while he probably needs several meetings a week for the first few months, a meeting a week for you is seriously recommended. many spouses think "oh wow!! they're going to AA and things will be so good now" but don't realize the time and committment AA requires in early recovery. He'll be gone just as much as if he was still hanging out at the bar usually.

if you have your own meeting and other spouses who have been through those early months they will be a great support system for you and a wonderful place to find out how to live with your guy as he gets sober

best of luck to you both! :hug:

[Justpat]

3. I've been in it for 26 years and I'm not a christian.

AA has a spiritual basis, but there is no religious practice to it.

You are not obligated to practice any type of religion or profess any
type of dogma. There are many atheists in AA.

I have some deeply held spiritual beliefs, but I bet you would be
hard pressed to find anyone who loathed organized religion more than
me. (I was institutionalized at an early age - I was sent to Catholic
schools. Jumped ship many years later.)

[lildreamer316]

5. Cool.

This is good to know.
It sounds like he will be fine-
Hell; I'm just glad he's ready to go.

[KitchenWitch]

4. I am in AA, and most obviously not a Christian

Yes, there are some at the meetings that are obviously Christian, but the principles are spiritual, not religious.

And if there are things he finds objectionable, he can choose not to participate in the parts that he doesn't like, for example, I choose not to recite "The Lord's Prayer" at the end of meetings, even though almost everyone else in the group does. I just take it as a moment for me to be silent and connect with my higher power.

[lildreamer316]

6. Sounds good.

Good to see ya as always Kitchy (hee hee).
Thanks for the response. As I said ^^; I am just glad he's ready to go. And it was his suggestion; not mine....yay!
Wish us luck.

[KitchenWitch]

7. All the positive energy for your husband is on its way!

:hug:

[varkam]

9. Some groups are more overt than others

at least from what I understand. I've heard of some groups explicitly referencing Jesus in their literature, though I'm assuming that it's not conference approved.

The group that I attend uses the phrases God and higher power, but I'm able to work with that even though I'm an atheist. It's really just a framework that anyone can use - even atheists.

[Kajsa]

10. There's an entire chapter of the Big Book

of Alcoholics Anonymous dedicated to
agnostics and atheists.
It's Chapter Four, 'We Agnostics'.

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/bigbookonline/en_BigBook_chapt4.pdf


Good vibes and thoughts are going out your way
for both you and your husband.
I'm so happy to hear he is seeking help.

:hi:

[idgiehkt]

11. I know this is an old thread but I would suggest a gay AA or NA meeting

They tend to be a lot more open and based less on religion than regular AA. I got sober in gay AA and overall it is gay AA meetings that saved my life. If he is comfortable being around gay people it might be easier to take than a mainstream meeting.

[Pharaoh]

12. Well there is this website

that I am looking at right now, called Rational Recovery and I bought the book and was going to give it a try. www.rational.org

I live way out in the country and going to meetings isn't practical and I have other misgivings about AA. Just popped in here to see if anyone is familiar with it?

I suppose I should start my own thread on this but I thought I'd try here first.

[idgiehkt]

15. if it works for you

then go for it. I read the front page and I don't agree with this though:

• There are no Rational Recovery groups anywhere in the world! Your desire for “support” is nothing more, and nothing less, than a plan to get loaded in the absence of support.


I do think that it helps to associate with sober people, and to have people who empathize with what you are going through when you are getting sober, it helped me. I drank alone most of the time, in the absence of support, and it was this support, that allowed me to stop drinking; also, I drank to fight 'loneliness' aside from it being an addiction, and having support from other humans helped me immensely.

[RaRa]

13. No resentment?

My counselor told me the same, but would there be any resentment of me being there since I'm not gay? Isn't that the point of having a "gay" meeting?

[idgiehkt]

14. I don't think people would resent you at all.

I don't recall ever being resentful when people brought straight friends to gay meetings. They are generally very open and loving. If if you end up in one that isn't it's probably best not to bother with it. :hug:

[Why Syzygy]

16. I went to some gay meetings years ago..

No, never found any resentment from any of them. They were glad to have us. We were there for the same reason they are.

[SPKrazy]

17. AA isn't religious or christian in any way

now the origins of AA did come from the Oxford Groups which were a Christian movement.

The AA philosophy of using a higher power is based on the idea that the alcoholic needs something outside themselves (basically to help redirect the primary narcissism of alcoholism away from the self centeredness that will kill the alcoholic) to stay sober.

I've met atheists, agnostics, wiccans, christians, and people like me who are rather eclectic in their beliefs. (another way of saying a confused sonufagun who only really knows that I can't do this on my own and I need a higher power)

so, I hope hubby won't stay away from AA based on the erroneous belief that it is a religious organization or focus.

:hug: