Faith and Fellowship

[varkam]

I had a bit of an uncomfortable encounter the other night, and I'm not sure how I should deal with it. It's actually an issue that has been building since I've been in recovery, but so far I've been mum on it.

I attend SAA in my city. It's a fairly small group (~20 people) but it's active. The other night, I met with two other members of my own volition. We talked about our lives, and (inevitably) the conversation turned towards religion; specifically Christianity. They wanted to know about my own religious beliefs, which I'm normally rather quiet about. I'm an atheist. I don't believe in any sort of supernatural powers or metaphysical realities. I have a higher power for the purposes of my recovery, but it doesn't require me to make any sort of a leap of faith - it's something that I know exists.

Anyway, I told them and essentially they proceeded to minister to me. To save my soul. I was put on the defensive and pretty much stayed there. I ended up leaving feeling pissed off and alienated.

The next meeting, during the preamble, something struck me - "SAA is not a religious organization..." That means, I take it, SAA is essentially secular in that it does not endorse any specific religion or way of thought over another. What that makes me think is that I should be free to tell people not to minister to me.

The reason I want to say that is not because I'm just being an uppity atheist. Often times, when something like that happens, I just end up feeling alienated. The special thing about the group is that we're all addicts, and so that is our common bond. But then I feel like some of the members use religion as a wedge between me and the rest of the group. All I want is to recover, and for all of them to recover as well. I just don't know what I should do. I don't want to continue to be ministered to and feel alienated from the rest of the group, but yet I don't want to alienate anyone else or ruffle anyone's feathers. In a sense, I'm at a loss. Thankfully most respect my beliefs, and I can get along quite well with them. I just wish I didn't have to put up with people trying to convert me.

[KitchenWitch]

1. Those kind of situations do come up.

I am not a Christian, and I have been able to be assertive when dealing with such situations.

My suggestion to you, other than perhaps finding different people from your group to hang around, is to speak up for yourself, and be assertive in telling them that their pushing their brand of religion on you, however well meaning, is entirely unsolicited and that it is also inappropriate.

[varkam]

4. Suggestions noted.

I don't think I'll be hanging around those two any time in the near future outside of group. Inappropriate seems like a good descriptor. I'm more than happy if they get a lot of comfort and warmth from believing that Jesus was the son of God. More power to them. It's just that I don't and haven't for quite some time. I've spent years trying to cultivate a spiritual outlook that I can be happy with, which works for me. Also becuase as I mentioned in the OP SAA (and I would assume other 12-step groups as well) are essentially secular organizations, I don't think people should be minstered to in group and not outside of group unless they ask for it. Just my personal opinion.

[KitchenWitch]

6. I agree completely

In the AA literature it is stated that "AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or institution..."

[Why Syzygy]

2. There is a yahoo group ..

AA with no religion (AAWNR). The posters are atheists or other forms of 'non-believers', some of whom use 12-step recovery. There is some posting by disillusioned former steppers, but the 12-step members are firm in their commitment to the program (without religion).
Might be something for you to check into.

[varkam]

3. Thanks

I wonder if there's one for SAA, but I guess they'd probably accept me all the same.

[Why Syzygy]

5. Yes .. some use

AA or NA. The substance shouldn't make a difference. They write about how they work all the steps, or the ones they can, while leaving a religious god out of it.

[Justpat]

7. Don't let those kind of people stand in the way of your recovery.

As Kitchen Witch said, pushing a religious agenda is against the
principles of the program.

Don't be afraid to call them out on it.

But don't be afraid to go to meetings either. Those types who feel
it is their obligation to convert others to their viewpoint are
everywhere in society - not just recovery programs.

The steps are a psychiatric self help tool kit
available to everyone regardless of religious or spiritual persuasion.

Sometimes, and this is just my personal observation, those who
use the program as a recruiting tool for religious dogma are
frightened of the power and freedom that comes with sobriety. Instead
of using the tools of the program to create stronger lives, they
remain stuck in dependency on something else.

[varkam]

8. Very insightful.

That's exactly how I try to look at the steps - a tool kit. I try to incorporate them into my life. Sometimes that is pretty easy when I'm experiencing some serenity, but other times it seems almost impossible.

I'm definitely not afraid to go to meetings. I fully understand that those individuals are everywhere as I've had more than my fair share of run-ins with them. I guess it just bothered me this time because I wound up feeling alienated from something that mattered very deeply to me.

Thanks for your comments.

[KitchenWitch]

9. I am really glad you are not letting them scare you away!

:hug:

[Justpat]

10. Hang in there.

As they say in the program: "stick with the winners."

Works for me.

[NMDemDist2]

11. don't know if this is appropriate Vark

but we have a new young guy coming to our meetings lately describing himself as a sex addict

what cracks me up is every time I see him, he's wearing his "Muff Diver" t-shirt

:rofl:

:shrug:

:hi:

:hide:

:yoiks:

[varkam]

12. LOL.

Well...at least he's got a sense of humor.

[KitchenWitch]

13. I love addiction humor!

:rofl: