I have come clean with my husband, and am going to a meeting today

[MediumBrownDog]

Many of you have strongly encouraged me to come clean with my husband about my drinking, and last night I did. I told him everything -- the sneaking wine, the filling wine bottles in the fridge with water until I could replace them, hiding empties in my closet in what I mentally refer to as "the bag of shame," the puking in the kitchen sink in the mornings. I told him how ashamed and scared and sick I was, and that if I did not stop, and he did not stop, I was going to end up drinking myself to death.

This finally got through. While he's horrified and shocked at my behavior, especially since he now knows why I've been basically non-functional for 10 days, (and for other periods in the last year) he is very concerned and supportive. He has agreed to give up drinking too, and we sat late up into the night discussing everything.

I am going to the doctor today to seek help, and I am going to a meeting today. I'll cast around for one that is a good fit, there are many in my area.

I haven't had a drink in 24 hours. It's a start. Thanks for all your support.

MBD

[KitchenWitch]

1. I am so proud of you!

Those are some difficult things you are doing. Keep it up, it will get better.

I know you will find a meeting you like, there are almost as many different "flavors" of meetings as there are alkies!

:)

:hug:

[RaRa]

2. That's terrific, MBD

I'm really, really glad for you. I hope that talking to your husband helped lift some of that oppressive guilt that you've been carrying around...I know it helped when I did the same.

[varkam]

3. MBD

For me in my addiction, the hardest work is always the honesty. I've lied for so long now it's almost as if at times I completely forgot how to be honest, like I don't know which way is up. Honesty for me has always been equated with fear because it's what my addiction demanded. Once things are out in the open it does get better, as that's really the first and biggest step.

Good work. My thoughts are with you :hug:

[NMDemDist2]

4. dang MBD

:yourock:

I'm so glad for you and proud of your courage and committment!! truly truly truly, you *so* rock!!

:bounce: :woohoo: :hug: :pals:

I bet your scared chitless and totally elated at the same time, but what a great start.

can't wait to hear about the first meeting :grouphug:

[Justpat]

5. This is good news, MBD.

Let us know how it goes.

:hug:

[wildeyed]

6. woohoo!!!!!

:yourock:

Glad your husband is so supportive, too. He sounded like a nice guy from what you had written before so I am not surprised. Post and let us know how your first meeting went! :hug:

[MediumBrownDog]

7. Thanks for all the high fives, guys -- I could not have done it without you

Your advice on this was key. In fact, one poster said "Tell him at your lowest point." Well, for me, that was key. I was lying in bed, shaking and sweating, dry heaves, and he came in (it was only 8:00 p.m.) and said, "Okay, I put the baby down. I wish you didn't feel so bad, I just don't understand why this hangover has hit you so hard. Must also be the stomach flu." (I had admitted to a hangover, but that was it). I couldn't let him worry anymore, even if what I told him made him worry more, but in a different way.

It's going to take time to build his trust back. But it'll be worth it to enjoy our marriage without that crawling guilt of (1) lying to him and (2) neglecting him.

[NMDemDist2]

8. that's awesome MBD!

it'll all work out, just take it One Day at a Time and all will get cleared up.

Did you make it to a meeting yet?

[jschurchin]

9. Trust will come

However, you are correct that it will take time. Your actions in getting sober will win his trust back instead of your words. Attend the meetings that fit you, make friends in the rooms, and don't be afraid to talk to us.

The road you are on is a long difficult one, and we, along with your husband, will be here every step of the way. If you are struggling, post on this board, or call someone you meet in the rooms, someone will get back to you in quick order.

We are with you MBD,

John

[NMDemDist2]

10. John, I just want to say

you are a sweetheart :loveya:

[jschurchin]

11. Thank You AZ

:hug: